


Old Friends and New Beginnings by babs, Darcy

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 33,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a reality where Daniel lives on Abydos with Sha're, he and his family choose to help an old friend recover from a serious injury.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Friends and New Beginnings by babs, Darcy

"What's up guys? Skaara said it was urgent. I came as soon as I could." Daniel took a quick glance around the room. "Where's Jack?"

"O'Neill is not with us, Daniel Jackson."

"Why not?" Daniel asked slowly. It was only then he noticed his friend's ashen faces.

"He has been severely injured." Teal'c bowed slightly in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his emotion.

"He's not, not...?" The linguist stuttered before stopping himself, unable to say the word, much less ask the question.

Sam jumped in. "He's not dead, Daniel." Tears pooled in her eyes and to Daniel's shock, escaped unchecked. "He's suffered severe injuries and head trauma."

"How? When?" Daniel felt his knees go weak.

"We were ambushed by Baal." Teal'c picked up the story to give Sam a chance to regroup. "O'Neill was held captive and tortured for twenty days before we were able to rescue him several weeks ago."

"Why didn't someone contact me?" Daniel demanded as Sha're moved to his side and quietly slipped her hand in his.

"There was nothing you could do," Sam answered. "We were hoping to have some news but his condition hasn't changed. You were out of reach, Daniel. With the caravan."

"You should have...I could have..." and then he stopped. They'd contacted him as soon as they could, he'd come home as soon as he could. And anger at them was counter-productive. He took a deep breath.

"What exactly is his condition?" Daniel squeezed his wife's hand.

"The Colonel is completely non-responsive. His eyes are opened but he doesn't react to stimulus. He just sits quietly and stares into space. He can't do anything for himself. He just sits and stares and... drools. He would hate this so much." Sam's voice quivered at the last admission.

Daniel gave his wife's hand another squeeze and then let it go to embrace his ex-teammate in a hug. As soon as his arms wrapped around Sam, she released her emotions and cried heavily into his chest.

When she finished, Daniel offered her a handkerchief "How long is his recovery period?"

Sam backed away, the handkerchief being twisted in her hands. She looked at the floor, at the walls before she finally spoke. "Daniel, you don't understand." Sam looked incredulous.

"''Understand what?"

"There is no predicted time table for O'Neill's recovery." Teal'c attempted to remain stoic but his voice faltered at the words.

Sam blew her nose one more time, the handkerchief doing a disappearing act into a vest pocket. "Janet's permanently moving him out of the SGC infirmary at the end of the week. We thought you'd want to say good bye."

"Moving him? Moving him where?"

"To a...home," Sam said. "They are well known for their care of brain- injured patients." Her cool demeanor faltered, the strain in her voice was unmistakable.

"What?" Daniel's voice rose in frustration. "You're institutionalizing him? No!"

"Teal'c, General Hammond and I visited the facility along with Janet. He'll be well taken care of." Defensiveness permeated Sam's tone, as if she needed to justify their decisions to herself as well as Daniel.

"No," Daniel stubbornly repeated.

"What is the meaning of 'institutionalized', husband?" Sha're returned to her husband's side.

Daniel turned to face his wife. "It means Jack will live the remainder of his life in a big building with hundreds of others who are injured with no one but strangers to care for him.

Sha're appeared shocked. "This should not be. Strangers will not understand Jack's needs as well as family would. He will stay here with us." Her tone left no room for argument. "We will offer him a home which is a home."

An expression of relief and pride passed over Daniel's face at his wife's words. He turned towards his friends. "Yes. Jack will stay here with us."

"I believe O'Neill would like that very much, Daniel Jackson."

Sam looked exasperated. "You don't understand. The Colonel can't do anything for himself. He can't feed or dress himself. He can't bathe himself." She lowered her voice, "Or take care of any of his... um... personal hygiene needs. He needs constant, round the clock care."

It was Sha're who responded. "Danyel and I will feed and dress Jack. We will bathe him and attend to his private needs until the time of his recovery."

Sam approached Sha're and took her hand. "What I'm trying to tell you is that according to the doctors, the Colonel may never recover."

Sha're remained undaunted. "Then he shall live out the remainder of his days with dignity, surrounded by the love of family."

Sam looked doubtful. "He can be provided the best medical care and therapies on Earth. Janet checked out the staff at the facility thoroughly."

Daniel interrupted. "He's not staying there, Sam. No one gets left behind."

Hurt, then anger flashed in the major's blue, tear-filled eyes. "We are not leaving him behind. How dare you, Daniel! Do you think we want to do this?" Sam stormed out the door leaving the three of them standing in open-mouthed silence.

Sha're broke the spell with a gentle slap to her husband's arm. "Go. Go after her and fix this. Now!"

Daniel broke out of his trance and headed out the door to search for Sam. He didn't have to look far. She was sitting out back on a bench.

Sam's head was bowed, cradled in her hands and she was again crying softly. Daniel could count on one hand the times he had seen her cry and realized how badly he had unintentionally hurt her. He sat down beside her and rested his hand on her shoulder, patiently waiting for her to regain her composure.

"It was my fault. My fault for the ambush," Sam said in a whisper. "I screwed up, and now...it's my fault," she said. In a broken voice, she told him how the mission had quickly gone to hell in a handbasket, Sam forced into making the decision to pull out when Jack was taken and Teal'c was injured. Tough choices along with the tough choices that had followed when Jack was found.

"We need to focus on now, Sam. On what we can do for him now. Playing what should have been isn't going to help." Daniel gently lifted her chin. "Trust me on this. Okay?"

She nodded and gave a small smile. "I guess I'm a little over-emotional right now." She wrapped her arms around Daniel's waist and gave him a hug.

"Ya think?" he mimicked, doing his best 'Jack ' impersonation.

Sam laughed in spite of herself before turning serious. "I tried so hard to do what was best for him. But Daniel, I can't...you don't know what's it's like seeing him so broken, so helpless. He's like a child, no worse than a child. He doesn't respond to us at all. I considered trying to care for him, Daniel, I really did, but I can't even imagine it. Does that make me a selfish, bad person?"

"No, no, of course not. You couldn't care for him on Earth, not and remain at the SGC. Abydos is different. We don't have hospitals or psych wards or residential homes here. In instances of birth defects or when accidents occur, it's natural and accepted that the family will care for the injured family member. When Kasuf becomes too old to care for himself he'll move in with Sha're and I. When Sha're and I are old and feeble our children will do the same for us. It's not questioned here, it's the circle of life, the natural order of things. Jack will be accepted. Sha're and I will care for him."

"He may never recover."

Daniel smiled at her need to be sure he understood what he was getting himself into. "Whether he recovers or not, he'll be safe here, loved and respected by people who knew him before and care about him."

He felt her relax in his arms. "Thank you," she whispered gratefully. âWe'll all sleep better knowing the Colonel is safe with you and Sha're." She squeezed him tighter. "I love you, Daniel Jackson."

He squeezed her back then slowly released her. "Well, now that that's settled do you think you and Teal'c could finagle an extra day or two to help me build an addition? Three kids and a pet calamoot.... you know how much Jack will hate this."

They laughed heartily at the thought of Jack bitching about his lack of privacy in Daniel's hectic household and then both silently prayed for the chance to hear the Colonel personally express his thoughts on the matter.  
~~~~~~

  
Daniel followed Janet towards Jack's room at the Academy Hospital. He knew this wing, knew the rooms had windows facing a garden. That was good--Jack loved the outdoors.

Janet stopped before a closed door and placed her small hand on Daniel's arm. "Don't expect much. He's not the Jack O'Neill you knew, Daniel."

"It's going to be okay," Daniel said to her. He smiled even though his stomach turned somersaults.

"I'll take you in and then leave you with him," Janet said as she opened the door.

A figure sat in a chair by the window, head turned towards the sun.

"Colonel O'Neill," Janet said as she approached. She bent down and her voice turned soft. "Jack. I've brought you a visitor. Look."

Sam and Janet had tried to prepare him but Daniel had to admit that deep down he'd hoped there would be something there, some recognition, but Janet's enthusiasm didn't reach the man in the wheelchair, didn't reach Jack.

Jack sat slack-faced, totally unaware of their presence.

"Hi, Jack," Daniel said. He crouched before his friend and smiled. "I'm here."

Janet patted his shoulder and whispered. "I'll be back. If you need anything, you can use the call button."

He nodded but didn't take his eyes off his friend. Daniel hooked a nearby chair with his foot and dragged it close.

"So," Daniel said. Jack's hands rested on his lap and Daniel covered them gently with his own. "I heard you got in a little bit of trouble, Jack." Nothing. There was no response, not even a glimmer of recognition in the once sparkling eyes. "I would have been here sooner. I didn't know. I came as soon as I heard what happened." He picked up one of Jack's hands, folding the unresponsive fingers in his own. "But I'm here now. We're going to get through this together."

He waited a few moments, studying his friend. Jack's gaze remained blank. It was as if Daniel didn't exist. Of the terrible torture he'd undergone there was no outward sign. A small area of much shorter hair on his scalp showed where he'd been shaved when monitors had been attached. Jack had lost weight, that was certainly evident, but Daniel didn't doubt that when he came to Abydos, the weight would be regained as Jack began to eat Sha're's cooking. Jack never did enjoy eating infirmary food.

Daniel gently squeezed Jack's fingers, expecting Jack to at least squeeze back, but his wait was in vain. "That's okay," Daniel whispered. "It's okay, Jack."

A small bit of saliva gathered at the corner of Jack's mouth, and Daniel thought Jack would wipe it away. Daniel looked away, searching for a tissue to give his friend. He saw a box on a nearby table and got up to retrieve a few. The saliva ran down Jack's chin, and Daniel, with a steadier hand than he thought possible, wiped it away.

"There, that's better," he said and threw the wet tissue away.

There was a knock on the door, and Daniel looked away from Jack to see Janet entering with a tray of food.

"I thought you might want to feed Jack," Janet explained as Daniel took the tray from her.

"He can't...no, I mean, I knew that," Daniel said. He placed the tray on the table and pulled his hands back before Janet could see how they shook slightly. He looked at Janet and jerked his head a little, motioning for her to follow him back to the doorway and out of Jack's hearing. "I'm doing this, Janet. Sha're and I opening our house to him, I mean. You aren't going to dissuade me."

"Daniel, it isn't going to be easy. Jack isn't simply going to wake up one morning and be the person you remember," she spoke quickly, her voice pitched low. "I've made appointments for you to speak to his therapists later. You'll need to continue to work on the things they've started with him."

"You don't think we're doing the right thing," Daniel said.

"No," Janet admitted. "But I think it's what Jack would want if he could tell us."

He'd have to settle for that, Daniel told himself as he watched Janet walk away. He went back to Jack and picked up the spoon. He studied it a moment and then took Jack's hand, wrapping the long fingers around the spoon and closing his fingers over Jack's. Slowly, he guided the spoon into the bowl of macaroni and cheese and then into Jack's mouth. He let out a little sigh of relief when Jack chewed and swallowed the food without difficulty. It was the right thing, Daniel reminded himself throughout the long process of feeding Jack. Jack was his best friend, the man who'd stood by him through thick and thin. This was what friends did for one another.

~~~~~~~

It was evening before Daniel got back to Jack's room. His afternoon had been spent meeting therapists and learning just what Jack needed. The task seemed daunting, Daniel admitted, but so had defeating Ra, so had the search for Sha're and Skaara. The meetings had only served to make Daniel more resolute in taking Jack to Abydos.

"Jack?" Daniel asked as he approached Jack. His friend was sitting in the chair by the window once again, his face freshly shaved and his hair somewhat damp. "I want to talk to you about something."

He sat down across from Jack and gently turned his friend's face towards his. Although Jack allowed the touch and the movement, his eyes didn't focus on Daniel, Undaunted, Daniel forged ahead. "I don't know how much you understand of what's going on. You're at the Academy Hospital. You've been hurt. But you can't stay here any longer. Janet and...well never mind about that. I want you to come live with my family and me on Abydos. You know, with Sha're and the kids. Kasey and Meera and Joban. You haven't seen Joban since he was born. You'd be amazed at how big he is now. We want you to live with us. You'll have all the time you need to heal on Abydos. No pressure, no worries. So what do you say? Do you want to come to Abydos?"

He wished Jack would give some response but his friend remained silent except for turning his head away to look out at the darkening sky. Daniel said nothing more, simply held one of Jack's still hands and joined him in watching the stars appear.  
~~~~~~

Daniel stood inside the temple at the base of the Stargate with his wife and three children, none of whom would have been born without the help of the injured man about to come through the gate. It was Jack who had ultimately risked his own life to save Sha're. Twice. The first time against Apophis. The second time, Jack had defied direct orders, risking his career to help Daniel whisk Ammonet out of the clutches of the NID to Cimmeria through Thor's Hammer. Daniel rightly attributed his wife's life and the lives of his three beautiful children to his best friend's efforts.

The little ones fidgeted restlessly before him.

At six years old, Kasey was the oldest and the one most like his father. Daniel smiled warmly at the blondish head highlighted by the small, circular glasses that rested on his son's nose. When Daniel had realized how poor his son's vision was, he had taken Kasey on a trip through the Stargate to Earth to have glasses made at the SGC. Kasey had been skeptical and worried about what the children of Abydos might think of his specs, but the worry and concern vanished the instant his world came into focus, sharp and clear for the first time. The boy shared his father's love of archaeology and followed Daniel around as much as prudence and practicality allowed. The child was smart and stubborn and headstrong and Jack had often commented he was as curious and fearless as his father.

Meera was four years old, with Share's perfect vision and darker complexion. Sha're was both proud and disappointed her daughter seemed far more interested in following her father and brother to the hidden caves than in grinding flour and mending clothes. Sometimes, Daniel was able to take Meera with him. Other days it pained him to listen to her cry and carry on when he had to leave her behind. Nothing pleased Daniel more than riding Meera on his shoulders as he walked around the village to visit with friends and neighbors.

The baby was named Joban after a deceased uncle of Sha're's. It was hard for Daniel to believe the little guy was already nine months old. Although Joban's personality was still emerging, Daniel marveled at how different he was from his older siblings. The contented child rarely cried or made a fuss. He was such a good boy Daniel had almost left him in the Cartouche Room on one of the rare times he taken all three of his children with him to work. It was Kasey who had innocently reminded him they had brought the baby along. Daniel cringed at the memory, glad Kasey had not deemed the incident important enough to mention to his mother.

Sha're held a cooing Joban while Daniel called Kasey and Meera to his side as the first chevron lit up at the precise time Sam had promised. He firmly held his children's hands until the Stargate safely swooshed to life. To his surprise, General Hammond and Doctor Fraiser emerged with Sam. Teal'c arrived a moment later on the modified MALP that held Jack along with a few duffle bags stuffed with clothing and personal items, all of the colonel's worldly possessions packed inside two medium sized bags. When the event horizon disappeared, Daniel released the little hands that had been tugging relentlessly.

"Sam! Jack! Teal'c!" they cried with delight.

Sha're and Daniel said their hellos. It was a few minutes before Daniel had the courage to focus in on Jack. To his great relief, aside from the blank expression, his friend didn't look much different from the last time Daniel had seen him. The group followed Sha're out of the pyramid to walk the few miles to the Jackson's modest home located on the outskirts of Nagada.

"We're right behind you." Daniel motioned for them to head out and give him and Jack a few minutes alone. Kasey and Meera both balked at the suggestion, insisting they wanted to ride on the "big machine" with daddy and Jack.

"You want to ride, Meera? I'll give you a ride." Sam intervened, saving the day. Meera accepted the invitation and rode out on Sam's back while Teal'c easily lifted Kasey off the ground and onto his immense shoulders.

"Look at me, daddy! Look at me!" the boy shouted from his perch.

"I see." Daniel watched the entourage leave and then climbed onto the modified vehicle, turning his undivided attention to his abnormally silent friend.

"Jack. It's me." Daniel touched his friend's cheek and gently pulled the weathered face towards his own. The silver head stayed in the set position and the brown eyes appeared to stare past him. Seeing the boisterous colonel so docile was unnerving, but Daniel forged ahead.

"You're on Abydos. You have your own room with a little patio off the back so you can sit out and look up at the stars." Daniel took Jack's hand; it was cold despite the afternoon desert heat. "Mi casa su casa, Jack. You're going to live with Sha're and I and the kids. You don't have to be afraid. You're not going anywhere. You'll always have a home with us. Do you understand?"

When Jack's facial expression remained unchanged Daniel answered for him. "Good. We better get back to the house before Sha're comes looking for us. Trust me, you don't want to get on her bad side," he said with a wink.

~~~~~~

  
"Well, that was pretty exhausting, huh?" Daniel situated Jack on the bed.

It was late and if Jack was half as tired as Daniel, it was a wonder the colonel's eyes were still open. It had taken a while for Sam and Teal'c, along with General Hammond and Janet to muster the courage to say their goodbyes. Daniel couldn't blame them. It was impossible to imagine the SGC functioning without Colonel Jack O'Neill. The thought gave Daniel a chill and made him fear for the future of his home world. Both Janet and Sam had become emotional and shed more than a few tears as they gave Jack a final hug. Daniel glanced at the thick binder on the small table near Jack's bed. Janet had filled it with notes for Jack's care and made Daniel promise to read it. She'd spent at least three hours going over the book with him, and he kept expecting her to pull out a test for him to take. He shook his head and turned his attention back to the task at hand. There'd be time to read the book once Jack was asleep.

"I thought Janet was a little tipsy. Did you notice that?" Daniel kept up casual conversation while he tended to Jack's personal needs. He took a page out of the colonel's book, remembering how easily Jack had cared for him on P2X-895. There he had been deathly sick with a fever and alternating bouts of vomiting and diarrhea. He could do this, Daniel decided as he gently wiped Jack down with a warm cloth. Jack was Special Ops trained and had survived a stint in an Iraqi prison. If his condition proved to be short term, Daniel doubted sponge baths, occasional accidents and assisted trips to the bathroom would bother Jack as much as Sam feared they would. However, if this was permanent and Jack was mentally aware, that was an entirely different matter. Daniel had no doubt that particular scenario would be devastating to the fiercely proud, independent military man.

"Don't worry, Jack. You're safe here. You're okay." With that, Daniel laid Jack down on his new bed, covered him with the light sheet and kissed his forehead, very much the same as he did with his own children. He had no way of knowing whether Jack found his actions comforting or annoying as all hell.

  
~~~~~

"Kasey!"

The little boy froze at his father's rare, sharp tone.

"What are you doing?" Daniel reached for his son's arm and quickly pulled him away from Jack. Next, he expertly picked the large, hairy desert crab spider off of Jack's arm and dumped it back into Kasey's large, homemade bug box. "Don't ever do that again," he admonished.

Kasey's lower lip trembled but he remained silent.

"Did you hear me? Answer me."

The tears began to flow. "I-I-I'm sorry, daddy. I wanted to show Jack the crabbie spider. It-it doesn't bite."

Daniel took a deep breath to calm himself. He realized Kasey was innocent and pulled the little boy in for a hug. "Jack does not like spiders, honey. He does not want spiders crawling on him."

"Even ones that don't bite?" Kasey peered over at Jack.

"Yes, he hates all spiders, bugs too. Whether they bite or not."

Kasey hung his head. "I'm sorry, Jack." The little boy climbed up onto the colonel's lap and wrapped his arms around the whiskery neck. "I didn't know you were afraid of spiders." He kissed the rough cheek before getting down. "Dad, does Jack like egrats?"

"No, not particularly." Daniel smiled at the thought.

"Does he like birds?"

"Um... I don't think he has any strong feelings about birds either way... except for pigeons, he doesn't like pigeons."

"What's pigeons?"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter. Just no more spiders or bugs. Okay?"

"Right. No more spiders,â Kasey readily agreed. "Jack likes Lulu," the little boy added thoughtfully.

"He does?" Daniel had his doubts about that. Jack was a dog guy and the pet calamoot seemed more like a cross between a cat and a rabbit.

"He pets her," Kasey offered as proof to his claim.

Daniel was confused until he envisioned Lulu forcing her head beneath Jack's unmoving hand. Well, pets were supposed to be good therapy. "That's fine, honey. Jack can pet Lulu."

Kasey had given Daniel something to think about. It had been over two weeks since Jack had moved in with his family. Daniel realized what a poor job he was doing of caring for his best friend. The kids and Sha're were more in tune with Jack's needs and feelings than he was. He had addressed and tended to the physical needs but neglected the intangibles, the things that made Jack... Jack.

Daniel helped his silent friend up and led him to the small back patio off his private room. He sat Jack down in one of the large, outdoor wooden chairs and pulled the other chair closer to sit across from the colonel, resting his hand on his friend's knee.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I haven't been paying enough attention to... well, to you." Daniel waited as if he expected Jack to answer. After a few minutes of silence, he continued. "Anyone can take care of your physical needs, heck, you could get that at any decent hospital." Daniel reached for his friend's hand. "I can do better. I'll have Sam send your telescope. We can set it up right here."

Daniel's enthusiasm grew. "I'll have them send the USA Today and I'll read you the hockey scores. There's no reason you can't follow the Blackhawks and the Cubs and the... uh... football team that I can't remember the name of right now. Doesn't matter. The point is you're still you and I'm sure you'd still enjoy the things you've always enjoyed." Daniel leaned in closer. "And, lucky for you, Jack, no one knows what you enjoy better than I do."

It was probably his imagination but he swore he felt slight pressure on his hand. Daniel's eyes rose above his glasses in excitement. "Is that you, Jack? Did you do that?" He waited, but there was nothing. Must have been wishful thinking. "I'm sorry about the spider. It won't happen again. And the calamoot, you know, the cat-like thing... Kasey thinks you like it, but I'm not sure. I know you like dogs. Maybe, well, never mind, we'll see."

Daniel helped Jack up and led him to his bed. He undressed and changed him, then gently covered him with the light sheet. "I know how much you love watching the sunrise. I'll get up early tomorrow and bring you out here and we can watch it together. And I've been putting cream in your coffee. I forgot you like it black in the morning, cream in the evening."

Daniel leaned over and whispered, "I'm sorry, Jack. I can do better. I will do better. I promise."

  
~~~~~~

"Daniel, he needs therapy," Janet argued while Sam nodded her head in agreement with her friend. "Speech, PT, OT, everything. If he has any chance at all for a normal life he needs to try."

Daniel bit back a cutting reply. "He is trying," he offered through gritted teeth. "And he gets therapy from all of us. We talk to him, we walk with him and we teach him. It's only been six weeks and look at the progress he's made. "

Sam snuck a glance at her former CO. "He looks agitated," she whispered.

"He knows we're talking about him and this is his room. This is his sanctuary from...everything." Daniel, Sam, and Janet were squared off in a head-to-head Mexican standoff while Jack fidgeted restlessly in his favorite chair.

"He doesn't understand what we're saying," Janet said quietly.

"Maybe, maybe not, but he still knows we're talking about him and he should be included in the conversation. Let's ask Jack what he wants."

"He can't make this decision," Sam stubbornly argued. "We really don't know how much he comprehends."

"He understands plenty and please don't do that, Sam." Daniel would have none of the conventional arguments.

"Do what?"

"Talk about Jack like he's not in the room."

"This is ridiculous. He needs us to do what's best for him."

Daniel turned from Sam and Janet to kneel before Jack and take his hand. "Jack, Janet and Sam think you'd do better back on Earth. Sha're and I want you to decide. Do you want to go back home? To Earth?"

The brown eyes flickered but the colonel remained mute. "Squeeze my hand if you want to stay here with Sha're and I." Daniel was shocked by the power in Jack's grip.

"Jack?" Daniel searched his friend's face for further signs of understanding, for more than a glimmer of recognition. Once again, Jack stared straight ahead, his eyes unfocused and distant. Spittle formed in the corner of Jack's mouth and Daniel reached up and wiped it away with his thumb. "Don't worry," he whispered. "You can stay with us for as long as you want to."

He looked over his shoulder to see Janet still standing there, her arms folded across her chest. He was surprised at the tears forming in her intense eyes.

"I'll be back in a minute," Daniel promised, standing up and untangling his fingers from Jack's now lax hand.

"Dan..." Janet began.

"Not here," Daniel said, gripping her elbow and guiding her out of the room.

When they reached the small alcove right inside the front door they stopped. "Keep your voice down," he warned when he saw her draw breath to speak. He didn't know where Sam had gone but he suspected she was on her way to the gate, unable to stand yet another argument.

"This isn't right. It's not fair to the colonel," she whispered, her words tight and determined.

"Not fair? What exactly isn't fair? For him to live among a family that loves and cares for him? The children don't care that Jack can't speak. We love him, Janet. We want to do this."

Janet stared at him, her eyes bright and shiny. "And what happens when you can't go on. When the burden gets to be too much?"

"Don't call him a burden." Daniel snapped. "He's not. He's part of the family."

"He's been here for over a month. The longer he goes without showing improvement, the longer..."

Daniel cut her off in an effort to avoid hearing the word 'permanent'. "I know, but it doesn't matter. He squeezed my hand--he squeezes my hand when I ask him questions. I can't make you understand. I can't tell you how I know, but Jack is in there somewhere. I know he is. Trust me, Janet." Daniel fixed her a look and refrained from embarrassing her by wiping the single tear that slowly streaked its way down her cheek. "On Abydos Jack can take all the time he needs." He paused running a hand through his hair. "Please tell me you understand."

"He squeezed your hand," Janet said slowly and then took a few deep breaths. "I don't believe in miracles, Daniel. Most likely it was a reflexive behavior."

"You don't need to. Jack's alive. He's part of a family. That's all that matters." He embraced Janet in a hug and felt a small nod against his shoulder.

She pulled away after a few minutes and smiled at him. "Sam and I'll come back for a visit next month. Maybe Teal'c will be able to come too."

Daniel smiled at her and watched as she walked down the dusty street before he headed back to Jack's room.

Jack was sitting in the same chair, looking out into the small courtyard. He hadn't moved from his position.

"Jack," Daniel called from the doorway, hoping his friend would turn at the sound of his name. When there was no response, Daniel walked over to him, kneeling down once more. "Jack, I want you to squeeze my hand if you understand. I know you understand." He took Jack's right hand in his, folding Jack's fingers over his own. "One time for yes, two times for no."

"Do you know where you are?" Daniel asked, holding his breath as he waited. He was sure Jack could understand him; he'd understood Sam wanted him to leave, wanted to take him away.

There was a faint squeeze. Unsure if he'd imagined it, Daniel thought of another question.

"Is your name Jack?"

A quick squeeze that time.

"Is my name Teal'c?"

One squeeze and Daniel felt his heart sink until another squeeze followed.

"Am I Sam?" Daniel asked.

Two squeezes in succession.

"Is my name Daniel?"

One squeeze.

"Do you understand why you are here? On Abydos?"

Daniel looked up into Jack's face, not allowing his own disappointment to show when Jack squeezed his hand twice.

~~~~~

"Daddy, story time." Kasey reminded Daniel as he lay down in his bed. Daniel grinned. Storytime was a nighttime ritual that neither Kasey nor Meera would allow him to forget.

Sha're smiled at him from across the room where she was nursing Joban. "What book will you read us tonight, Danyel?"

Daniel pulled a well worn volume from the small bookcase that had been his first attempt at carpentry. He still could remember Jack laughing alongside him as they'd worked on the project after Sha're had told him she was pregnant with Kasey. Daniel rubbed his fingers over the dents on the top, sighing as he stepped back. Jack was sitting on a rocking chair that General Hammond had sent to Abydos as a present for Sha're, but it was Daniel who put it to use, rocking the children to sleep after a nightmare or a fussy night. Meera was sitting on Jack's lap, curled up. Jack's arms wrapped loosely around her, Meera pulling them close and holding his hands in place.

Jack still hadn't spoken, his face still closed, but if Daniel asked simple questions that could be answered yes or no, he was able to respond with hand squeezes.

"Daddy." Kasey urged, nudging Daniel's arm. "Read."

"Tonight we're going to start a new story from an old, old book." He made a great show of opening the cover. "Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson." He cleared his throat and began to read.

He finished the chapter and smiled up at his family. "And that's all for tonight." He bent down to kiss Kasey's head. "Good night."

"Night, Daddy." Kasey whispered around a yawn.

Sha're came over to give her eldest a kiss and then kissed Daniel. "I'm going to put Joban to bed. I will be waiting for you."

Daniel nodded. He looked over to the rocking chair. Meera was frowning as she looked up at Jack.

"Meera? Honey? What's wrong?" Daniel asked.

"Daddy, why is Jack crying?" Meera asked, clearly puzzled.

"Crying?" Daniel repeated and then he looked at his friend's face--a few tear tracks visible along his cheeks. "Jack? Is something wrong?"

"Meera, go to bed. I'll tuck you in." Daniel told her. He followed her and pulled the light cover over her, giving her a kiss. "Daddy loves you."

"Night, Daddy." Meera turned onto her side and curled up in a tiny ball.

"C'mon, Jack. Let's get you to your room." Daniel guided Jack to his feet and led him the short distance. He wiped Jack's face with a damp cloth, disturbed by the tears that were still flowing. Their evening routine had become commonplace and Daniel helped Jack without thought, speaking quietly and calmly.

"Does your stomach hurt?" Daniel asked, motioning to Jack's abdomen. Jack closed his eyes, turning his head away. Daniel sighed, unsure of how to help, wondering if maybe an immediate message should be sent to the SGC.

"Is it your head?" He asked. He rested his hand on Jack's forehead, relieved there was no abnormal heat there and then put his hand in Jack's once more. He bit his lower lip and then began a series of questions about every possible malady he could think of, all of which produced no reaction from Jack.

"Danyel?" Sha're called softly from the doorway. Daniel looked over at her and shook his head.

"I don't know what's wrong with him," he responded.

Sha're entered the room, coming closer and looking at Jack with concern. "My Danyel will stay you with you, Jack." She brushed her hand over his hair. "You will sleep and my husband will guard you." Sha're smiled at him and then at Daniel. "You will call if you need my assistance."

"Yes," Daniel caught her hand and pressed a kiss to the palm. "I love you."

"As I love you," Sha're whispered.

Daniel placed his back against the wall, pulling one leg up onto the bed. He rubbed a circle on Jack's shoulder, feeling the occasional shudders as the tears continued. For the first time since Jack had arrived, Daniel found himself thinking that perhaps there would never be any improvement. That Jack would forever be mute and as helpless as a very young child. There was no doubt he and Sha're would care for his friend for as long as he lived, but Daniel wondered how much the old Jack would have cared to live in this fashion.

"Daddy?"

Two small voices in unison caused Daniel to look up.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Daniel frowned at Meera and Kasey.

"We wanted to see if Jack was still sad." Kasey explained. He climbed up on the bed, settling on his father's legs and peering down at Jack.

"Uh huh," Meera said, also climbing on the bed, but deciding to sit cross-legged beside Jack.

"Is Jack sad, Daddy?"

"I think he might be, Kasey." Daniel said, hugging his son. "But I don't know why."

"Does his head still hurt?"

"I don't think so." Daniel explained. "Not hurts like when you fall and bump it. But his brain is still healing, and sometimes it takes a very long time." Daniel didn't tell Kasey that perhaps it had healed as much as possible.

"Here, Jack." Meera was thrusting something into Jack's hands. "This will make you better."

When Jack didn't make an effort to do anything, Meera gave an exasperated sigh and tugged at his hand, pulling it up towards his face. Daniel smiled as he saw what she had given Jack--the small scrap of satin and fleece from a pink baby blanket Jack had bestowed on her on the day of her birth. Meera had loved the blanket until all that was left was this small piece of it--and she still slept with it nightly. "See. Like that. It helps me when I cry." Meera was rubbing the satin against Jack's cheek in the same way she comforted herself. Daniel began to say something but then stopped when he saw Jack hold it close to his face.

"Maybe Jack misses Earth, Daddy." Kasey said, looking up at Daniel. "Maybe he misses the water." Kasey slid off Daniel's legs and tucked the beat up stuffed shark he carried under Jack's other arm. "Toothy wants to stay with you, Jack."

Daniel felt a lump form in his throat as he looked at Kasey's gift. Once again it had been a gift to his child from Jack. Kasey had gotten very sick with a virus the previous year and when the healers of Abydos hadn't been able to do anything to abate the fever, Daniel and Sha're had taken their son to Janet. Kasey had been so afraid and Jack, as usual, had known the perfect thing to take Kasey's mind off his fear. He'd brought the little toy shark, books on sharks and a few videos to the infirmary to help one small, scared boy pass the time.  
"Do you think he likes it, Daddy?" Kasey asked.

"I think he does, sweetheart." Daniel answered. He smiled at Kasey and Meera. "Now it's time for a little boy and girl to go back to their beds."

"Night night, Daddy. Night night, Jack." Meera said giving a wave before scampering off the bed and out of the room.

"I hope you feel better soon, Jack." Kasey whispered. He came to Daniel once more, giving his father a wet kiss on his neck before following his little sister.

"Night, Daddy." They called.

"Unh," Jack grunted after the children had disappeared. Daniel looked down at him, noticing Jack was stroking the toy shark's fur and holding the scrap of blanket to his cheek. "Unh."

"Do you remember, Jack?" Daniel asked, not sure if Jack was in pain or trying in some fashion to communicate. "Remember when you gave us that blanket? When Kasey was sick? You're a great uncle to them."

He bent down trying to see Jack's face, sighing when Jack turned from him. "We're going to get through this, Jack. You're in there. I know you are." He patted Jack's back once again, unsure if the gesture of comfort was for Jack or himself.

"Remember Toothy?" Daniel asked, reaching out and stroking the gray fur with one finger. "Remember giving him to Kasey?"

Jack was frowning and as Daniel watched he screwed up his face, his eyes nearly closing as he opened his mouth.

"Jack?"

"Auggghhh." Jack finally managed to say. He hit his fist against Daniel's leg. "Auggghhh."

Daniel covered Jack's hand with his own. He tried to keep his voice calm at the first tortured sound Jack had made since coming to Abydos. "I know you're feeling frustrated, Jack. But listen to me, I'll help you. We'll help you learn how to talk again."

Jack looked at him and finally nodded. The brief communication had evidently left him exhausted because in less than a minute he was asleep. Daniel sat in the darkened room and began to plan how he and his family could help Jack regain all he'd lost.

  
~~~~~~

"Mama, Mama, guess what?" Kasey's words ran together in an excited rush.

Daniel cringed at the dirt encircling himself and his little 'archaeologist-in-training' but didn't have the heart to rein in Kasey's exuberance as his son rushed full speed into the house to tell his mother about their day's adventures at the new dig site Daniel had unearthed. Daniel stopped for a second in the doorway to appreciate the smells wafting in from the kitchen before following.

"Stop! Do you not see the sand and dust you two are dragging into my clean house? Out! Out, both of you." Sha're's hands were on her hips as she scolded. Daniel smiled at her animation. Apparently, the effort of keeping a clean house in the desert made it easy to speak up and rein in enthusiasm when necessary.

"What?" Two sets of innocent blue eyes exchanged a glance and then gazed at an irate woman in feigned confusion.

"Don't you 'what' me." She pointed a finger at the two no so innocent offenders. Daniel's raised eyebrow was rewarded with a hint of a playful smile. "Now you will both go outside and properly clean yourselves like civilized people. After you are no longer wearing half the sand of Abydos, I will permit you back into the house. Then, Kasey, you help me set the table and tell me all about you and your father's day of digging. Danyel, you will fetch Jack and Meera for supper."

"Yes, ma'am." Kasey smiled brightly in agreement looking forward to divulging every last detail. "Shall I tell you about the cup I found? And about Daddy's new idea on how to figure out how old it is? I could tell about the new passage way Daddy and I are digging..."

"Yes, little one," Sha're interrupted. "You shall tell me everything. After you wash," she emphasized. "Now scoot."

Kasey happily ran outside to wipe away the grime of the day while Daniel risked a kiss to his wife's cheek.

"You are a scoundrel," she mumbled as she kissed him back.

"How was your day?" Daniel asked, damn, she smelled so good he lingered for a final nip at her neck, risking her wrath.

She blushed slightly at his boldness in the light of day before sighing and pulling away. "It was a fine day. Meera helped make the sweet cakes for dinner and Jack washed out the clothes and hung them out to dry. And Skaara stopped by for a visit."

"Hm, nice." Daniel sighed, still caught up in the sweet subtle smell of spices that made up Sha're's perfume. "Wait...what? Back up." He stood up straight and adjusted his glasses.

"Skaara came by this morning," Shar'e repeated.

"Not that. Jack. Jack did the laundry?"

"Yes," Sha're said proudly. "I was washing out the clothes in the basin when Jack offered to help. I wouldn't have let him but he wanted to try."

"He asked you?" Daniel was incredulous.

"No, no. Jack didn't ask." Sha're took his hand as he tried in vain to hide his disappointment.

"He watched and pointed but I knew he wanted to try. Don't be disappointed, my husband," she whispered. "He improves daily, do you not see it?"

"I do. I do see it. I just..." His voice trailed off as words failed him.

"You love him and you have no patience for waiting." Sha're filled in the blanks, just like always.

He often marveled at her ability to read him. "Skaara?" he asked hopefully.

"He couldn't stay long. He had business at the market." Her curt answer gave her away.

"Did he at least talk to Jack?" Skaara's reaction to Jack's injury usually left Daniel wavering somewhere between acute sadness and outright anger.

"Yes, he spoke to him," Sha're said hesitantly. "Skaara is still young... my brother thought his hero was unbreakable. Give him time to accept Jack's condition."

"Time?" Daniel scoffed. "He's had plenty of time. It would do Jack good to know he still has friends."

"He has many friends, Danyel. Sam, Teal'c, Janet, my father... you."

Sha're's light soothing voice placated him for the moment but one of these days he was going to have a no holds barred, one-on-one talk with his brother-in-law concerning the meaning and value of true friendship.

"I love you." He whispered the words in Sha're's hair before going back outside to clean up and check on his son. After that, he would check on Jack. The last time Skaara had visited it had left Jack confused and restless.

After washing and a bit of airing out, Daniel left Kasey in the kitchen explaining the art of trolling to Sha're while he went to fetch Jack and Meera for supper. He headed straight for Jack's private room. Meera hadn't come running the second he'd walked in the door which meant she must not have heard him come in.

Bingo! Daniel stopped unnoticed in the doorway of Jack's entrance listening to Meera admonishing Lulu.

"No, Lulu! Your tongue tickles and it's too drippy. Jack does not like it!"

He poked his head inside the room to see what the mischievous calamoot was up to. Jack was sitting cross legged on the floor with Meera sitting in his lap holding her favorite book, the one she knew by heart. Daniel winced at Jack's position, wondering if his knees were groaning in protest.

"Your hair will be all over everything," Meera continued and Daniel would have sworn it was Sha're's words and tone coming out of his four-year-old's mouth. The calamoot must have already been shooed because she was sprawled out in a patch of sunlight indifferently licking her long, furry paws.

"You can tell her no," Meera said looking up into Jack's face. "Like this... no, Lulu!" His daughter pointed a small, threatening finger in Lulu's direction. "You try, Jack."

"Go on. Try." Meera lifted Jack's hand and shook his index finger in Lulu's direction.

To Daniel's astonishment, Jack did try. "N-n-n." That was as far as he seemed able to manage.

"Almost," Meera said calmly still holding on to Jack's finger. "You just forgot the 'O'. Like this, "N-N - OH" she repeated very slowly and distinctly.

"N-n-o." Jack stuttered. Meera released Jack's finger to clap her hands with delight.

Daniel stayed hidden, amazed at Jack's new found ability. His persistent daughter wasn't finished. "Now say her name, like this..." Meera grabbed Jack's finger again and pointed it at the lazy, lounging creature. "Lulu," she scolded. "No, Lulu."

"L-lu-l-lu."

Daniel's mouth hung open in disbelief as Jack spoke again.

"Good, Jack!" Meera exclaimed happily. "That's good. Just say that next time she licks your face, okay?"

Jack patted the little girl's hand in a show of affection. Meera made a production of opening the book on her lap and Daniel blushed to see his own actions mimicked so perfectly by his child. She held the book high for Jack's perusal and read from memory.

Daniel couldn't tear himself away from the scene. He closed his eyes at the magnitude of the meaning of the two simple words. If Jack could speak, it meant he was learning, that neural pathways were being re-wired. His heart soared and his mind raced at the possibilities.

Meera's soft voice brought him back to reality.

"The end," she said with finality, closing the book loudly and standing up. "Did you like that book, Jack? When I get bigger I can read you more books." She spread her hands wide apart to indicate a very large number. "This is the only one I know right now," she confessed.

Daniel smiled wondering how many times she'd read that particular book and if Jack was on the verge of tearing his hair out at the sight of it.

"Hey, Jack," Meera exclaimed, suddenly excited. "If you learn more words we could take turns reading the books! Wouldn't that be fun? You could read the ones I don't know. Wanna?"

Daniel didn't catch a reaction from Jack but apparently Meera did because she sighed happily and began chattering about other stories as she closed her current favorite, stood up and began to hum while tidying up Jack's space.

"Hey guys!" Daniel stepped into the room. "What are you two up too?"

"Playing and reading books and stuff," Meera sighed, shrugging her shoulders, barely turning around from her straightening.

"Come here, little one." Daniel sat down on the floor beside Jack.

"What, daddy?" Meera frowned, looking for all the world like her mother.

"I need a hug."

Meera giggled and sighed before complying. Because she was standing up, her face was eye level with her father's as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lightly kissed his cheek.

"That's not a proper hug," Daniel complained. He laughed and pulled her onto his lap. "I need a really big hug like this." He squeezed her tightly while lightly tickling her belly. "I love you, baby," he whispered. Meera's laughter and squeals of "daddy!" filled the house and brought Kasey running and Joban crawling through the doorway to see what all the fuss was about.

"Tickle me, daddy, tickle me!" Kasey joined in the free-for-all on top of Daniel while baby Joban made his way to Jack to watch the festivities from the safety of Jack's lap.

Laughter and giggles filled the room until Daniel noticed Sha're watching from the doorway. Daniel stopped tickling and waited for the laughter to die down. "I think dinner's ready, guys."

"Come, it is getting cold." Sha're clapped her hands together to emphasize the order.

"You heard your mother." Daniel picked up Meera and took Kasey's hand.

"Come, Jack." Sha're bent down and lifted Joban from Jack's lap. "You are the only man in this household with any sense," she chuckled.

  
~~~~~~

Daniel snuck up behind Sha're and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Guess who?"

"Perhaps it is Besim?" Sha're asked.

"Besim?" Daniel planted a kiss on her neck. "Besim, the caravan driver?"

"My father used to say he would make a good husband." Sha're said, continuing to stir the pot of stew.

"He did, did he?" Daniel reached around her, taking the spoon from her and attempting to sneak a taste.

Sha're smacked his hand. "Besim smells of the desert and spices while you, my husband, smell more of the dung heap."

"Guess I'd better wash up." Daniel said. He stepped away from her and she turned, handing him a small piece of bread.

"How did your day go, my Dan'yel?" She asked.

"I did some more translations. Skaara and some of the others discovered a new passageway. We're starting to dig it out."

Sha're tapped one foot on the ground as she studied him. "Your robes will be fit for nothing but rags. Hang them outside."

"Yes, Sha're." Daniel said. He looked down at his robes--sure they were a little dirty but it wasn't that bad. "How did Jack do today?" Since his first words with Meera, Jack's bouts of confusion had lessened and he'd been making painfully slow, yet steady improvement.

Sha're followed him to their room. "He accompanied me to the market and carried the basket home. He was looking at some of your books but then he wanted to go in the courtyard. The children are with him now."

Daniel quickly stripped and washed off with a small bit of water. He dressed in an old pair of khakis and an old shirt, not as comfortable as his robes but well worn and soft. He gathered his robes, wrinkling his nose at the smell. Walking into the courtyard a few moments later, he saw Jack sitting on the ground with Kasey and Meera, Lulu between them, rolling on her back and displaying her belly for a rub. As Daniel watched, Jack reached out and stroked the soft fur with one finger. Joban pulled himself up by holding onto Jack's robe, teetering on his little fat legs as he gained his balance.

Jack turned looking at the baby and giving a lopsided smile--something that was all too rare nowadays. His friend was making progress, Daniel reminded himself. Jack was speaking, usually able to make his basic needs known to the family. He could wash and dress himself, take care of his toileting needs alone, and feed himself. Granted the tasks weren't always accomplished with the greatest skill and finesse, but he was improving. Daniel still wasn't sure if Jack was actually aware of his altered condition. Some of the books Janet had sent regarding brain injury spoke of people unable to remember how they used to be before their injury. In one way, Daniel hoped it was so.

"One day at a time," he muttered to himself.

"Kasey, Meera, time for supper," Daniel called as he got closer. "Jack, Sha're's cooked your favorite stew."

The two children scrambled to their feet and rushed over to give Daniel a hug before scampering to the kitchen.

"Jack?" Daniel asked, reaching down for Joban. He knew how hard it could be for Jack to get up from an awkward position on the ground.

Jack frowned, wrapping his arms around Joban. "Sarlee," Jack said, rubbing his cheek on the baby's head.

Daniel patted Jack's shoulder, not wanting his friend to try to get to his feet while holding Joban. "Give him to me until you get up."

"No, no, no." Jack shook his head for emphasis. "You n-no b-baby. Sarlee my b-baby. M-mine."

It was like a punch to the gut--Daniel felt his breath come out in a rush. Sarlee--Charlie. Daniel had never seen a picture of Jack's son as a baby, but he could imagine Joban with his brown hair, reminding a confused Jack of his lost child. Joban seemed content in Jack's arms for the moment, so Daniel helped support Jack as he stood.

"This is Joban." Daniel said when Jack looked at him. He rested his hand on his son's head. "Joban. Can you say that?"

"J-jo?" Jack looked down at Daniel's hand. "No Sarlee?"

"No, Jack." Daniel said, swallowing hard at the pain in Jack's eyes. "No, I'm sorry. Joban."

"Me l-love Jo," Jack said. Daniel could see the slight moisture filling Jack's eyes---his friend's emotions were nearer the surface since he had begun talking again. "You baby?"

"Mine. And Sha're's." Daniel nodded as he watched Jack. "But you can love him too, Jack. A baby can never be loved enough."

"You t-take?"

"You hold him." Daniel put his arm over Jack's shoulder, an extra measure of support and guided his friend and his son back towards the house.

~~~~~~

"Jack? You okay?" Daniel sat down on the bed beside his friend. Jack's head was down and his fingers were interlocked, his hands wringing restlessly in his lap.

"M-me..." Daniel waited patiently while Jack struggled to find the right word. "Sc-scare..."

"Scared? You're scared?"

Jack shrugged slightly and resumed staring at his hands.

"Scared of what exactly?" Daniel covered Jack's hand with his own.

"S-S..." Jack pounded the bed in frustration.

"Sam? You're scared of Sam?"

Jack shook his head no. "N-not S-Sam."

"Not Sam." Daniel thought for a minute. "Janet? You're scared of Janet? That's no biggie, everyone's scared of Janet."

The attempt at humor wasn't going over well and Daniel was relieved when Kasey burst through the doorway. Saved by the exuberant blonde kid in the round glasses.

"Jack! Come on, Jack. We're going to explore the cave by the old sand dunes. Remember? I know everyone's already been in there but maybe we'll find something special that everyone else missed. Maybe even a secret passageway or a magic stone or Ra's hidden treasure!"

The first lopsided smile of the day crossed Jack's lips.

"Uh um." Daniel cleared his throat. "Kasey, Jack and I are talking right now. You'll have to wait a minute."

The boy let out a huge, impatient sigh as he wrinkled his brow and leaned his elbow's on Jack's dresser. "Okay," he mumbled.

"Outside," Daniel suggested. "You can wait for Jack outside."

"Don't take too long talking, daddy," Kasey whined. "Jack and I have lots of plans."

"Out," Daniel ordered before Kasey slowly retreated from the room.

"You," Jack managed still wearing the crooked grin.

Daniel's eyes went wide. "Me? You're scared of me." Jack actually snorted at that and shook his head 'no'.

"K-kasey." He gestured to the door the little boy had just disappeared through and then pointed his index finger into Daniel's chest. "You," he repeated.

"Yeah, I guess he is a little bit like me, isn't he?" Daniel rolled his head back and laughed.

Jack unfolded his hands to bring his thumb and index finger an inch apart to indicate a small amount. "You," he repeated.

Daniel was thrilled Jack's sense of humor seemed to be gradually returning with the rest of him.

When Jack attempted to stand up to leave, Daniel tugged on his elbow. "Not so fast. Let's finish this." The smile turned to a frown but Jack sat back down.

"Okay, you're not scared of Sam or Janet, or me so, what are you scared of?"

"N-not sc-sc-ared." Jack sighed as he fought to find the correct word.

"You're not scared... you're..."

The look Jack shot him was easier to read than his words. It was screaming, 'And you call yourself a linguist!'

Daniel decided to run down the list of possible emotions and allow Jack to shake his head yes or no. "You're... mad?" No. "Bored?" No. "Lonely?" No. "Frustrated?"

Jack shook his head vigorously at that one.

Daniel let out a sigh. "Of course you're frustrated. Dumb question. Anxious!" he yelled suddenly. "You're nervous about everyone coming for a visit. For your birthday party?"

Jack gave Daniel a relieved exasperated, affirmative nod of the head.

"Sorry, it took so long," Daniel mumbled, thinking it was one of the few times he should be grateful Jack couldn't talk, his friend's sarcasm would have run rampant.

"Hey." Daniel grabbed Jack's hand to garner his full attention. "Just look how far you've come. You're much more independent, your balance is better and you can communicate, Jack. You can talk. You probably don't even realize how much progress you've made since their last visit. It's amazing. Everyone is going to be seriously impressed."

Jack hung his head not looking particularly convinced.

"I know it's hard for you." Daniel squeezed Jack's hand in sympathy. "But just remember they're your friends. They want to see you. They miss you."

"M-Miss old m-me," Jack said looking down at his hand that was still tightly clenching Daniel's fingers.

"No," Daniel said firmly. "That's not true." It was true people tended to be a bit strained around Jack but it was out of concern more than anything else.

"C-changed."

"Of course you've changed. Everyone's changed. Sam, Teal'c, me, everyone. Our decisions, our experiences and yes, our physical health and appearances. But those changes don't magically turn us into someone else. I guarantee you're still Jack O'Neill, the same stubborn, sarcastic, irreverent pain in the ass I met ten years ago. There is no "old" you and "new" you, Jack. There's just you. And you're a pretty amazing man." Daniel nudged his shoulder into Jack's.

Jack gave his hand a hard squeeze before releasing it. Daniel smiled. It wasn't long ago when squeezing his hand was the only form of communication Jack had been capable of.

He really had come a long way.

  
~~~~~~~

Daniel held Kasey's hand and waited for the Stargate to swoosh to life. He had it timed to the minute. His friends were nothing if not punctual. It was a military thing. Sure enough within a minute of the promised time, Teal'c, Sam and Janet emerged from the event horizon.

"Where's the general?" Daniel asked after the initial hugs and greetings.

"He couldn't make it," Sam explained. "Something came up at the last minute. He said to give the colonel his best wishes. He's going to try to come out on his own as soon as he can get away to say hello in person."

"Is anyone in trouble?" Daniel asked with concern.

"No, I think it was more like Pentagon meetings. He was pretty irritated."

Daniel could easily imagine.

"Teal'c, did you want to ride me on your shoulders again?" Kasey pleaded.

"I do indeed, Kasey Jackson." Teal'c easily lifted the six year old up and hoisted him onto his shoulders.

"Sorry, Teal'c," Daniel sighed. "He's been hoping for a ride ever since he knew you were coming."

"There is no need to apologize. I am Kasey Jackson's mastoof, am I not?"

"Not mastoof, Teal'c! Mastadge," Kasey giggled.

"Indeed." Teal'c's eyes gleamed as he galloped off, his rider urging him to set new mastadge speed records.

"Where's the colonel?" Sam asked as Teal'c and Kasey's laughter faded in the distance.

"He's waiting at he house, helping Sha're."

"Really?" Sam asked, earnest in her surprise.

"Yes, really. Jack's making great strides," Daniel said cautiously, not wanting to revisit the continuing battle over where Jack would get the best care and therapy. "He really has come a long way."

Today was Jack's birthday, a time for celebration, and Daniel was determined not waste any part of the day on useless arguments. They always followed the same lines, with him, Sha're and Teal'c in one corner and Sam and Janet firmly planted in the other. General Hammond had confessed to siding with Janet and Sam on the issue but he rarely voiced the opinion out loud. For that, Daniel was grateful. At least without the general present, Sam and Janet would be in a definite minority. Maybe when they saw Jack's progress they'd come around.

"So what's the surprise?" Janet asked, in reference to Daniel's last communication with the SGC.

"If I told you it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" Daniel stuck out his tongue mimicking one of his kids' more annoying habits.

"Janet and I have been talking, trying to figure it out and... can the colonel speak?" The hope in Sam's blue eyes spoke volumes about the love and concern. Daniel took a glimpse at Janet and saw the same emotions.

"Yes."

"Oh, Daniel!" they stopped walking mid stride and both women threw their arms around his neck for a long group hug.

"How long has he been talking?" Janet asked and Daniel cringed at her professional, analytical tone.

"For nearly a month now. We wanted to surprise you."

"We were hoping. Oh, what a relief," Sam exhaled loudly.

"One word or complete sentences?" Janet asked, always the doctor.

Daniel thought about it. Although it was a struggle, Jack was certainly stringing together more than one word at a time. "Complete sentences," he answered proudly. He felt like a father bragging about the accomplishments of a favorite son. "He still has a ways to go," he added quickly, not wanting them to get the wrong impression. "Did you bring the cake?" he asked, hoping to ward off a technical conversation on Jack's level of speaking and how it related to his overall recovery.

"Right here." Sam patted the container she carried. "Don't worry, Janet made it." She added in response to the face he'd made. "Oh, and we have a pie. Siler's wife made it."

"I didn't know Siler had a wife." Daniel scrunched his eyebrows at that.

"Well, he does and when he heard we were coming to visit Colonel O'Neill, he brought in a pie for him," Janet explained. "She's a great baker. She's sends stuff in for the infirmary staff all the time. Probably because he's in there so much. It's apple. The colonel's going to love it."

  
"Sam, Janet!" Meera and Sha're ran out of the house to greet them. Teal'c came out with Jack following, holding Kasey's hand. Daniel couldn't help wondering if Kasey had dragged Jack out or if Jack had sought out his pal for moral support.

Janet and Sam both gave Jack long heartfelt hugs which he returned enthusiastically. "Wow, you look great, sir," Sam enthused.

And he did, Daniel noted with pride. Jack was tan from the Abydos sun and he had gained the weight he had initially lost. But the biggest change was in the eyes. The deep brown pools were alive again with the light of recognition. To Daniel that had been the most difficult aspect of Jack's condition to accept... the dull, distant blank look of a stranger staring out of the soul of a man so full of life.

Th-th-th..." Jack started.

Daniel took a deep breath and willed Sam to be patient enough to let Jack finish.

"...ank you, C-c-carter." Jack waved his hand and flashed his now familiar crooked half grin to his friends, clearly proud of his new found ability to speak.

Daniel exhaled loudly while Sam offered an uncomfortable smile.

"O'Neill, it is good to once again hear your voice." Daniel gave Teal'c a grateful nod.

"It's wonderful, colonel." Both Janet and Sam joined in the praise.

"Come, come," Sha're interrupted. "Let's sit together to share a meal in honor of Jack. It is customary for the honored one to say a few words but for today Danyel will speak for Jack."

* * * *  
When the meal ended, Daniel joined Jack, Sam, Teal'c and Janet outside after helping Sha're clean up and get the children settled in their beds for the night.

The five of them sat out in the early evening sunset, the desert heat softened by a cool light breeze.

"How was the pie, Colonel?" Janet asked.

"G-good," Jack said as he finished up his second piece.

Daniel watched Janet watch Jack and knew she hadn't missed the moderate trembling in the hand that held the fork.

"Siler's wife made it special for you," she said with a smile, declining to comment on the unsteadiness.

"T-t-tell him m-me, I-I... th-th-anks," Jack stammered in determination.

Jack's stuttering was heavier than usual and Daniel chalked it up to a bad case of nervous excitement. He smiled proudly at Jack's ability to speak in a full sentence, pleased Jack had finally made good on Daniel's earlier bragging.

His smile faded as Daniel felt the uncomfortable silence. It suddenly occurred to him how childish Jack sounded with his stammering and occasional misuse of proper pronouns. Jack O'Neill, the original Mister Grammar. If the sudden blush on Jack's face was any indication, it had suddenly occurred to him, too.

"We had the most interesting mission a few weeks ago." To Daniel's relief, Sam smoothly filled in the gap.

"What do you think, Colonel?" She asked as she finished up a shortened version of the secretive natives on SG-1's last mission.

"Would you believe it to be subterfuge, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, when Jack failed to offer an opinion.

The confused look on Jack's face spoke volumes to Daniel. He was either having trouble following the quick flow of conversation or was still distressed by the reaction from his last spoken words.

Daniel fairly winced at another long, disturbing pause. His friends gave Jack the time he needed but Jack had no intention of responding.

"O'Neill, do you not have an opinion? I placed a wager that you would have been skeptical and most suspicious of the native's actions.

"Well, that's a pretty safe bet, Teal'c," Daniel joked filling in for Jack's confused shrug.

Janet put a reassuring hand over Jack's. "Sir, now that you can speak I want to reiterate the offer to rehab on Earth. Daniel has done a fantastic job but with more professional, directed therapy you'll be surprised how quickly things can come back.

Daniel bit down his anger and focused instead on the genuine concern on his friend's faces. Ultimately, this was Jack's decision and even though Daniel was certain he knew what Jack wanted, it was best to let Jack express his own opinions.

"It could speed up your recovery, sir." Sam added hopefully.

"The SGC and indeed, I myself, miss your presence, O'Neill." Teal'c must have switched to Fraiser's way of thinking after glimpsing Jack's potential.

Janet wasn't finished. "Colonel, I know you enjoy being here on Abydos with Daniel and his family. We just think if you'd push yourself a little harder you may be surprised by the results."

The statement caused Daniel to close his eyes and count to ten, but he was determined to watch and listen and remain silent.

"We could really use you, sir." Sam said quietly.

Instead of answering, Jack rose from his chair and nearly crashed into Sha're who was coming out to join them.

"Sir?

"O'Neill?

"Colonel? "

The three of them called out to Jack but he had already disappeared into the house.

"Why does this always happen when we're together?" Sam said, her voice rising in frustration. "Every time it ends up like..."

"Of course it does," Daniel said, raising his voice. "Because every time, it seems as though Jack hasn't done enough to please any one of you. Can't any of you see the progress he's made? What he's accomplished? Why is it so hard for you to celebrate the strides he's made?" Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache begin to blossom behind his eyes.

"I'm not going to apologize," Janet said quietly. "I honestly believe if the colonel has any hope of making it all the way back, a more intensive therapy program is warranted. I'm sorry, that's just the way I feel about it."

"Janet," Daniel started slowly. "If we're going to be honest... Jack's never going to come back one hundred percent, is he?"

After a prolonged, tense pause, Janet finally answered. "No," she conceded quietly. "It's highly unlikely, but he could make vast improvements."

  
"Jack is making improvements," Daniel said, forcing a calm voice. "Vast improvements. It wasn't that long ago that he started speaking and already he can string words together and get his point across. His balance and fine motor control improve daily, he's making tremendous progress."

"Daniel, I didn't mean..."

Daniel raised a finger to stop Janet's interruption. "One more thing. Just to be clear, Jack does try. He is trying. Harder than any of you can imagine."

Janet leaned forward and rested her hand on Daniel's. "That, I am sorry for. That didn't come out the way I intended. It's just that as a doctor, I can't help but wonder how the colonel would respond to an intense therapy program designed for his specific needs."

"I know," Daniel said quietly. "I just don't think he'd do well in that type of environment, and more importantly, I don't think he wants that."

"Janet?" Sam intervened.

Daniel felt himself tense as all eyes turned on Sam. For an instant he worried his friends were going to leave in the middle of this seemingly endless, unresolved issue.

"I think we need to consider that Daniel may be right."

Shock lit up four faces. Daniel and Sha're nodded their surprised gratitude.

Sam quickly continued before Janet could jump in. "If we would have pushed the colonel into a long term care facility in a hospital setting he may never have made the progress he has. We all know how much he'd hate that. He might have given up. But just look at him..."

Janet didn't interrupt but Daniel wasn't sure she was buying into Sam's theory. He didn't care. Knowing how difficult this was for Sam to accept, made him even more appreciative of her willingness to voice her change of heart.

"Look at him. He's walking and talking and smiling, he's happy..." Sam sniffed and wiped away a lone tear.

"Indeed. He is eating pie," Teal'c chimed in. That brought a round of smiles and a few chuckles.

"There's no accounting for the intangibles," Janet conceded, pausing to drink her tea. "When I look back to what the doctors, myself included, predicted for the colonel's life... well, lets just say he's already far exceeded those expectations. Forgive us, Daniel. Sha're. We just..." Her voice trailed off and Janet's shiny eyes met Daniel's and for once, she seemed at loss for words.

"We're selfish," Sam filled in firmly. "We miss the colonel. We want him back... just like he was before. We're having a hard time adjusting to life at the SGC without him. Everyone is. We're all still expecting him to come back, just walk through that 'gate with some smart-ass remark and everything will go back to normal. He was such a force." She bowed her head and bit down on her thumbnail.

"Indeed. I find myself waiting for O'Neill to make inappropriate comments during briefings." Daniel suppressed a chuckle as Teal'c continued. "Even now, I mistakenly seek him out for a sparring partner in the gym and look for him in the commissary to share an afternoon meal. It is most difficult."

It was quiet and Daniel was positive they were all filling in there own Jack O'Neill moments and memories.

"If it is of any comfort, he does not pick up his socks, he belches loudly at the dinner table and he forgets to wipe his feet, tracking dust and sand on my clean floors." Sha're's comments broke the tension and gave everyone a chance to relieve their emotions through hearty laughter.

"I'm going to go check on him." Daniel stood up and headed back into the house.

  
~~~~~

"Jack?" Daniel asked gently. The sight of Jack sitting on the bed, shoulders hunched with his head in his hands caused Daniel to swallow hard. Poor Jack. It wasn't exactly the birthday he had planned for his ailing friend but they had all come around and Daniel thought they'd made a real breakthrough. Too bad Jack hadn't stuck around to see it.

"It's just me. Talk to me."

"S-stay."

"Stay... inside?"

"S-Stay here!" Jack said, obviously agitated.

"Yes, yes, of course you're going to stay here," Daniel reassured. "Come back outside."

"No," Jack said firmly. "S-sam, Janet... d-disappointed."

"No, Jack. No. Not disappointed." Daniel knelt down on the floor, his hands gently gripping Jack's knees. "They just... they miss you. They want things back the way they were before. Can you understand that?"

Before Jack could answer Sam was in the doorway. "Daniel's right, sir. Can we come in?" Jack kept his head bowed but Daniel waved them inside.

Sam entered the room and sat down on the bed beside Jack. Janet walked around Daniel and sat on Jack's other side. Teal'c stood next to Sam while Sha're hung back in the doorway to give the former teammates some privacy.

Sam reached out and touched Jack's forearm. "You're doing great, sir. Really, really great. It's us." She patted Jack's arm. " I'm scared, sir. I don't think I'm ready to lead SG-1. I wish you were still there with us."

Jack lifted his head to meet her gaze. His eyes lit up fiercely, and as he spoke, he poked his index finger into Sam's chest. "You r-ready, C-carter. Fine officer. L-leader. You ready."

Sam held back a quick retort, giving the observation some careful thought. "Thank you, sir. You really think so?" She bit her bottom lip nervously.

"M-me train you. You b-best." Jack's determined look went a long way in boosting Sam's confidence.

"Right, I'll make you proud, sir." Sam patted his forearm gratefully.

Jack nodded his agreement. "You already h-have."

Teal'c clasped his hands behind his back and stood up a bit straighter. "I too have been reluctant to accept your current level of progress, O'Neill, as I miss your presence at my side in battle. You have made great strides yet I only look to see you as you once were, not as you are. I apologize."

"It's o-okay, T. W-wanna make me h-happy?"

"Yes, we do. What do you need, sir?" Sam jumped in.

"I do indeed, O'Neill. What is it you require?" Teal'c seemed to stand straighter still, if that were possible, waiting for his assignment.

"Y-you and C-carter go out and k-k-kick G-goa'uld ass."

"We will, sir."

"Count on it, O'Neill." Teal'c bowed his head in agreement. "Do you have any other words of wisdom to impart?"

Jack thought for a minute. "Any c-cake left?"

Sam chuckled and stood up. "Let's go find out." She made her way to the door and Teal'c turned to follow. Daniel stood to join them, his knees creaking from his position on the floor.

Before Jack could get up to join them Janet pulled on his sleeve. "Can I have a minute, sir?"

Daniel hesitated in the doorway as Jack turned to Fraiser and smiled his now familiar, endearing smile.

Janet looked him in the eye with a tired smile of her own. "We've been through a lot together, sir."

"T-too much." Jack placed his trembling right hand on her shoulder.

"Yes, too much," she agreed. "I want to explain... I want you to understand. Every suggestion I've made and every opinion I've expressed has been from the heart."

"I-I know." Jack squeezed her shoulder.

"Please let me finish, Colonel."

Jack nodded for her to continue.

"I wanted to fix you, sir. Not just for me, for everyone. You have no idea..." Her voice cracked for a second until she composed herself and forged ahead. "They stood outside the infirmary door every day. Not just your team, Colonel, everyone. From the maintenance crew to the commissary staff. Airmen, Marines, officers, civilians... all of them waiting for me to work my magic and perform a miracle and give you back to them. From cooks to Generals... they waited and held their breath. The President called daily for a progress report. Everyday the report was the same, "no change". I wanted it as much as they did," she confessed. "So much that none of us could clearly see the truth of the situation until today. You belong here, sir. For now. Maybe forever, I don't know, you'll have to be the judge of that. But you're here and you're happy and functioning again and it's far more than I ever dared hoped. Please forgive me for not celebrating that fact... for making you feel like it wasn't enough."

Jack spread his arms wide and the two of them embraced in a reconciliatory hug.

"S'okay," Jack soothed. "It's o-k-kay."

When they separated Janet wiped away a few tears, jumped to her feet and took a deep breath. "Well, Colonel, shall we?" She offered her hand. Jack accepted it and rose to his feet.

"Let's get out there before Teal'c polishes off the rest of your cake."

"A-amen to that, D-doc."

~~~~~

"Daddy! Daddy!" Meera squealed as Daniel called out his children's names.

Jack smiled at her and watched as she ran from his room. He stared down at the book she'd brought for him to read to her. Sighing, Jack stood and closed it. He reached for the hand-carved staff Daniel had given him a few days ago, leaning heavily on it as he limped from the room.

Daniel met him in the breezeway that led from the main house to Jack's quarters. Kasey smiled at up at Jack, his face dirty from the day's digging.

"You should see what we found today. Daddy says it's really, really old and he let me use his brushes." Kasey spoke quickly, bringing back a memory of an excited Daniel in discovery mode.

"Th-th-that's g-good." Jack managed to say, clenching his fingers tight on the staff.

"Kasey, why don't you go and wash your face? Your mama will send us both to the mastadge pens if we show up dirty for meal-time."

Kasey looked from his father to Jack and then gave a huge sigh, half stomping in his retreat.

"So you," Jack said, too weary of struggling to control his speech.

But it was Daniel, and Daniel understood. "I know. Both you and Sha're keep reminding me of that." He grinned at Jack. "Meera told me you were reading her a story."

Jack swallowed hard and then gave a short nod, glancing away before he could see Daniel's eyes and the pity there. He didn't know if what he'd done could actually be called reading. Oh, he could hear the words in his mind, but the actual process of getting them out, of saying them without stuttering had been laborious. Not to mention how his hand shook as he tried to turn the pages.

"Danyel? Jack?" Sha're's voice floated through the house. "It is time for our evening meal."

"Come on, Jack. Sha're made waquira stew. And I'm hungry."

Daniel took a few steps away and then turned around frowning when Jack didn't follow.

"I-I-I'm not h-h-hun-hungry." Jack said. "W-w-walk."

"Okay. We can do that." Daniel said. "I'll just go tell Sha're we'll eat later."

Jack shook his head. "N-no." The word came out rough and broken. "M-me, alone." He bit the inside of his cheek when he realized the mistake he'd made.

Daniel studied him a long moment. Probably determining if he could be trusted outside the house alone, Jack thought with more than a little bitterness. Finally his friend nodded and smiled with a trace of sadness.

"Go. I'll tell Sha're you'll eat later."

Jack watched as Daniel walked off, envious of the other man's long even gait. He looked down at his own body, glad the robes he'd adopted wearing hid most of his body. Gripping his staff, Jack left the house, the need to get away, to not be reminded of his limitations for a few hours, overwhelming.

~~~~~

The sand made for rough going, and Jack stumbled, unable to catch himself, grown clumsy since his injury. At least it was sand, he thought. Better than rock or the concrete he would encounter back on Earth.

He looked north, towards the pyramid that housed the Stargate--a distance he used to walk with little thought. A distance that now seemed as unconquerable as walking across the whole of Abydos.

He curled his hands in the sand, fine grains sifting through his fingers and stinging where his skin was dry and cracked. He stayed where he was, on hands and knees, his head hanging down as he took in a few shuddering breaths. He was once a warrior--what had he become? Jack reached for his staff, driving it deep in the sand so he could use it to help him stand.

He thumped back to his knees with a grunt and a taste of copper from biting his tongue as the sand shifted under his weight and the staff slipped. Anger seized him and he threw the staff from his side. He pounded the sand with his fist, letting out a yell that was more sound than word.

Useless cripple. Was that to be the fate of the great Jack O'Neill? Was it punishment for arrogance? For believing SG-1 was the only thing standing between the Goa'uld and the fate of Earth? Oh, he knew Daniel and Sha're would care for him with the same kindness and patience they'd shown since he'd come through the Gate to Abydos. But he didn't want to burden them. He wanted his old life back, damn it all to hell. His breath came out in short harsh gasps as he fought to bring his anger under control.

One last gasping breath and Jack looked up once more, the air cooling as the sun slipped lower on the horizon. 'Well, that was stupid,' he thought as he looked at his staff a short distance away. He wondered why the words which refused to come without a struggle when he spoke were clear in his mind. Jack supposed he should be grateful he didn't have his old strength--at least the staff wasn't too far away. He tried to push himself up, but his weakened arm buckled when he shifted his weight. Crawling the short distance, Jack was able to reach the staff and this time pull himself back to his feet.

A short burst of laughter escaped him at the success of his mission. He looked ahead--to a dune not far in the distance. For his first trip alone, it would be his goal. One step and then another and soon he would be rewarded.

~~~~~

"It pains you to see him so," Sha're said as she slipped an arm around Daniel's waist.

Daniel swallowed past the very large and painful lump in his throat. "Yes." He turned to her and pulled her closer, resting his cheek on her hair.

He'd seen Jack fall, seen him attempt to get up and stayed by Sha're's side, her hand on his arm reminding him to wait, to be patient. He was glad the sunglasses he wore when going outside hid his eyes. He didn't want her to see his pain at Jack's struggles.

Squinting, Daniel watched as Jack regained his feet and walked a short distance to a dune. Jack sat down, and Daniel looked at Sha're.

"Go to him," she whispered.

Daniel nodded and gave Sha're a quick kiss. "I love you." He waited until she walked back into the house and then took off in Jack's direction.

He stopped a short distance from Jack, not wanting to intrude if his friend needed privacy.

"S-sit d-d-down," Jack said without turning.

Daniel accepted the invitation and moved closer, dropping to the sand beside Jack. "I hate it when you do that."

"Still g-got it." Jack turned to face Daniel with a crooked smile.

"Yeah, you do." Daniel smiled back. He opened his mouth to say more but closed it when he realized there was nothing he could say. He couldn't change what had happened, didn't have a miraculous cure handy that would give Jack back what he'd lost. His telling Jack he'd recover would mean little. Jack needed to discover the truth and believe for himself. So, he, like Jack, watched in silence as the sun sank lower.

The sky was tinged with oranges and reds and a cobalt blue so intense it made Daniel's heart ache. Far distant shadows raced across the sand towards them, reminding Daniel of the waves on an ocean, a high tide coming ever closer to the shore.

  
"I-I-I w-won't be b-back." Jack said as the sun slipped beneath the horizon.

"Won't be back?" Daniel repeated, puzzled. He could see Jack clench his fingers in the sand.

"SGC. G-go b-back. Be a sol-soldier." Jack stared straight ahead.

Daniel waited for more, knowing that whether or not he ever fought again, Jack would always have the heart of a warrior.

"M-my mouth." Jack touched his fingers to his lips. "My l- leg and h-hands." He looked at Daniel then, as if daring him to respond. "R-right?"

Daniel sighed, but Jack deserved as much honesty as he could provide. "Janet said..." he stopped and began again, "I'm not a medical doctor, but I do know the human brain is very amazing, Jack." He gathered some sand in his hand, letting it fall back to the ground through spread fingers. "You've come so far since you've been here. And remember Janet told you about that rehab program..." He had to stop for a moment. Had he been selfish wanting Jack here for his recovery rather than somewhere with the experts?

"D-Danny?" Jack touched the back of his hand. "W-what d-do you th-ink?"

"Jack, don't make me..."

"N-never g-get it all b-back," Jack said, sounding tired and older than Daniel could remember.

"I'm sorry, Jack." Daniel said, and he was.

"Is th-th-that w-why Sk-sk-skaara w-won't s-see m-me?" The question when it came was soft and sad.

"Skaara went with Besim and the caravan for trade." Daniel said, trying to lighten the burden.

"D-don't l-lie." Jack said, throwing a bit of sand away from them.

"He did go with the caravan. Remember we watched them leave?" Daniel said, remembering the way his brother-in-law had turned his head as he passed, avoiding looking at Jack. Anger welled up in Daniel, and he wanted to take off across the sands to bring back Skaara and force him to confront Jack.

"He-he-he'll come back." Jack said. "And m-m-maybe he'll b-be a f-friend a-again. D-don't be m-mad, D-Danny."

Daniel let out a deep breath and tilted his head back looking up at the stars beginning to appear. "We'd better get back to the house."

Jack nodded. Daniel stood reaching out a hand to help Jack up. Jack hesitated just a moment before clasping it and allowing the help.

Daniel handed him his staff and slowly, they made their way back to the house. Jack stopped as they drew closer, standing in a pool of light thrown by one of the oil lamps Sha're had placed outside to guide them home.

"I w-want to stay h-here." Jack said. "If you and Sh-Sha're w-want me."

"You are part of our family," was Daniel's simple reply. He placed a hand on Jack's back, remembering a time not too far past when he'd provided all the support as Jack walked. He didn't know what the future held for Jack, but he would do whatever he could to make sure his friend went as far as possible.

~~~~~

"You guys ready?" Daniel asked from the doorway.

Jack was sitting on the bed with Kasey slouched beside him.

It was Kasey who looked up and answered. "I don't think Jack wants to go to the festival, daddy. I told him it would be fun."

Daniel stood over his son, running his fingers through the boy's blonde strands. "Go see if your mother needs help getting ready. We'll be there in a minute." Kasey patted Jack's thigh before reluctantly obeying.

"What's up?" Sitting in the spot vacated by his son, Daniel rested his hand on his silent friend's knee.

Jack folded his hands in his lap and stared down at them.

"You ready?"

"N-not g-going."

"Why not?" Jack was fully washed and dressed, he certainly appeared ready.

Instead of answering, Jack shrugged.

"I know this is hard for you but you're doing great. There's no need to hide out. The festival is a family event and you're part of our family. We'll all be disappointed if you don't come. And, Kasey's right, it really is fun."

A heavy sigh was Jack's only response.

"I'm not going to force you but it would be good for you to be around people again." Daniel eyes searched for signs of acceptance. "We'll stay together and if it gets to be too much for you, I'll bring you home. Promise. Will you come with us please?"

* * * *

Jack inwardly groaned. Talk about pressure...how could he say no to that? With a curt nod he stood, and under his own power, limped outside while Daniel hovered close by, chattering about past festivals, pretending not to be watching and waiting to pounce in case he stumbled. The Jackson clan was packed and waiting and Jack couldn't help but notice the genuine smiles at his appearance. If only the rest of society was as understanding.

The mastadge was loaded down with food and the woven blankets Sha're had made to enter into some type of women's exhibit that from what Jack had heard of Daniel's teasing, she had no hope in hell of winning.

"Jack!" Kasey rushed over and hugged his waist.

"Told you he was coming!" Meera chanted sticking her tongue out at her older brother.

The center of Nagada was less than three miles from the Jackson residence but they'd barely gone a half a mile when Jack realized he wasn't going to make it. It was hot and he had already pulled the hood of his Abydonian robe over his head to keep the sun off but now it seemed the sand would be his undoing. He'd been on dozens of sandy planets in his days on SG-1 and had never remembered it being so difficult to walk in. He might as well be trudging through quick sand. Within a few minutes he was exhausted. The only thing keeping him going was Kasey pulling on his hand but a few more steps and even that wouldn't make much difference.

Jack flushed with embarrassment when he glanced around and noticed how slow they were walking. For him. The invalid. He slowed more, if that were even possible, red faced and breathing heavily. Damn Daniel for talking him into this. Now he'd have to swallow his pride and humiliate himself by confessing he needed to rest, then he'd stumble back to the house. Take a nap maybe.

"Jack?" Grateful for the chance to come to a complete stop he pulled up and Sha're was beside him.

"Will you be able to do me a favor?" She didn't look the least bit winded.

He doubted he'd be able to do much of anything but nodded wearily.

"My arms are tired of carrying Joban and Danyel is busy with Meera." Jack followed her gaze and sure enough, Meera was riding on Daniel's shoulders. "Would you mind riding on the mastadge and carrying the baby?"

It was an obvious ruse. He eyed her suspiciously before glancing Daniel's way. Both of them met his scrutiny without a hint of complicity. "Would you mind?" She asked again, prodding gently.

For a second, his eyes prickled with humiliation before agreeing to grant the pretend favor.

It was difficult to mount the overgrown creature but somehow he managed without needing help or falling flat on his ass.

"Thank you, Jack. I hate the beasts," Sha're said gratefully, handing him the squirming baby. It was only a matter of seconds before Kasey begged a ride and then Meera as well. With him and the kids safely secured on the beast, Jack realized that technically Daniel was now freed up to hold the baby and Jack was free to walk to the Festival on his own... if only that were possible.

It had taken a fair amount of maneuvering to get him and the kids on the damn mastage without crushing his ego and damaging his pride. It was obvious they had planned this ahead of time. Daniel would know full well he was incapable of a three mile hike through the desert.

"This Festival has its roots on Earth. The original purpose was to honor Renenutet, the goddess of the harvest." Daniel droned on, keeping up a steady stream of enthusiastic facts in what Jack assumed was an effort to keep his mind off the situation.

It wasn't long before Jack's eyes teared up again, this time it wasn't due to humiliation, but rather at the kindness of his adopted family.

They abandoned the beast under a small palm tree on the outskirts of the village and entered the crowded marketplace on foot.

Grabbing his hand, Kasey eagerly led Jack down the narrow, lively streets, chattering, pointing out people and places, his youthful enthusiasm rivaling his father's. Jack was relieved at the anonymity the crowds provided, grateful for the robes and hood although he seriously doubted anyone would recognize him without the SGC uniform and the brash attitude that had gone along with it.

On the other hand, Daniel was quite popular. People stopped him in the streets to talk and say hello to the famous, revered, wildly admired, Doctor Daniel Jackson. And Daniel being Daniel, to Sha're and the children's annoyance, stopped to speak with each and every neighbor, addressing them by name and asking after family members or personal problems.

At first, Jack worried Daniel would feel the need to introduce him and expect him to join in the conversations but that didn't happen. As always, Daniel was able to sense what he needed and how much he could handle. Jack gradually relaxed, and being a people person, had to admit the Jacksons were right; it was nice to be out again, an active participant in the flow of life.

"Goodbye, my husband." Sha're had finally had enough of the well wishers. She tugged on Daniel[s arm before he became engaged in another conversation. She kissed his cheek. "You shall be made to look like a fool when I come back with the highest honors for my blankets." She left quickly, heading for the women's tent with Meera skipping ahead and Joban carried on her back.

Daniel smiled after her then patted Jack's shoulder. "Come on, I want to show you something."

The crowd thinned out as they made their way down to the far end of the village. It took a while with Daniel frequently pausing to chat and check out the fabrics and spices displayed in the open market. Whether Daniel was truly interested, or giving him much needed rest was irrelevant, either way Jack was grateful.

"Where are we going, daddy?" Kasey wasn't nearly as pleased with the shopping breaks, sighing loudly at every booth.

"Have a little patience," Daniel gently admonished. "You'll see."

"Oh." A few minutes later Kasey laughed and ran ahead to stand in front of the huge rock.

"Whoa! W-what is t-that?"

"It's what the Abydonians call an Honor Stone."

"S-stone? M-more like a b-boulder. Ornate." Jack ran his hand along the smooth stone, touching the colorful, dazzling gems imbedded around the edges. It was quite beautiful.

"Ornate?" Daniel scoffed at the word. "I had to talk them out of erecting a full scale temple in our honor. They're not usually this large. This is the biggest honor stone in all of Abydos. The words tell a story."

"W-what's it s-say?" A smile lit Jack's face as he imagined Daniel explaining to his adoring fans why a temple wasn't necessary.

"It tells the story of how we came through the Chappai to free the people of Abydos from slavery and from the cruelty of the false gods. See this side here..."

Jack hobbled around to the side Daniel was pointing out and recognized his name immediately.

"Pretty amazing, huh?" After sweeping his hand across the desert expanse toward the village Daniel gripped Jack's arm and spoke softly. "We did this. You did this. All these people, alive and free... you should be proud, Jack. Not many people accomplish something of this magnitude in a lifetime."

"T-together." Jack patted Daniel's hand. "Us, together."

"Yes, together," Daniel agreed.

"Nice." Jack choked down his emotions at the memories.  
"We better get back. We're meeting Sha're and the kids for a picnic lunch. She'll have our heads if we're late."

"T-thanks, Daniel." Jack's spirits lifted as he decided not to dwell on the past. Eventually, he would make new memories maybe not as SG-1, but as friends and family. It was the first positive thought of the future he'd had in a very long time.

Daniel nodded and called for Kasey who had wandered off to check out some of the smaller Honor Stones. It took Daniel yelling the word "lunch" before Kasey came running to join them.

"Yours and daddy's stone is the biggest one of all, Jack" he declared proudly.

"Not just m-me and your father." Jack had always been one to give credit where credit was due.

"That's right," Daniel agreed. "Charlie Kowalski, Lou Ferretti and a whole bunch of other men and women helped too."

"Tell me, daddy." Kasey never tired of hearing the exploits of SG-1.

Jack was happy for the distraction from the heat and from his body's painful protests at the excessive amount of moving about he was doing today as Daniel launched into a story for the benefit of his son.

  
After several stops and starts, relief and fatigue hit Jack simultaneously as he spotted Sha're under the shade of the palm, spreading out a blanket for their lunch. Jack immediately plopped himself down without apology, he was pooped. It was a good tired, he decided as he watched Daniel help his wife set out the food and tease her about not winning any ribbons for her weaving. Predictably, she blamed the judges, claiming the same women won year after year. If Jack closed his eyes he could imagine being a kid again at the annual county fair in Minnesota rather than light years away on another world. The thought was somehow comforting. The food tasted delicious, it had been a while since he'd had this much of an appetite.

Jack was eternally grateful that once the food was eaten and cleared away Daniel suggested they take a break from the festivities and relax for a bit. He wasn't sure if the decision was for his benefit or for the kids but for once, he decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. Kasey wandered off to join a group of boys in the distance who were kicking a ball around. Daniel was being hailed down by passing neighbors while Joban and Sha're looked tired. Meera was sitting beside Jack on the blanket looking at one of her picture books. As soon as Jack closed his eyes he began to doze. When he opened them again he was alone on the blanket. The picture book was beside him but no Meera. He blinked a few times to clear away the sleep and sat up in time to spot the little girl happily gallivanting off after a gray calamoot the approximate size of Lulu.

"Meera!" He called out her name but she didn't turn around, no doubt distracted in her quest to pet the indifferent creature. Abydos wasn't dangerous but accidents did happen. No one knew that better than Jack O'Neill. Jack looked around for help.

Daniel was some distance away, engrossed in a lively conversation with Ezra, one of the village historians Daniel was training. If the facial expressions and hand gestures were any indication they were going to be at it for a while.

Sha're wasn't much closer, she was walking back and forth trying to get an overtired, cranky Joban to sleep. She must have drifted away from the blanket so as not to disturb him with the baby's crying. Joban was finally starting to settle and Jack had no intention of interrupting and risk waking him.

Heck, Meera was only four years old and he could still see her clearly. He could certainly catch up and redirect her back to the blanket. He rose to his feet to chase after the little girl following the mangy calamoot.

He lost sight of her for a second and after turning a corner, found himself behind some of the festival tents.

"Meera!" She couldn't have gone very far.

"Jack, you scared him."

Jack turned just in time to see the jumpy calamoot scamper off leaving the disappointed child in its wake.

"I wanted to pet him," she pouted.

"Let's g-get b-back." Jack held out his hand which the stubborn child flatly ignored. He wished he could talk to her but a lengthy conversation was too time consuming and frustrating for him.

"We should have brought Lulu," Meera continued. "Then they could have been friends and played together."

Jack shuttered to think of the calamoot riding with the rest of them on the mastage. "S-she's n-not that f-friendly," he muttered. Lulu was snooty and aloof and rarely sat with anyone besides Meera or Jack. Though Jack grudgingly admitted he had found comfort running his fingers through the soft fur when he'd been at his weakest.

"Lulu is friendly. She's the most friendliest pet in the whole wide world. She's my bestest friend, Jack." Meera was obviously indignant at his suggestion that Lulu might not be overly sociable.

It took a bit of effort not to laugh at the serious little face. "R-right," he agreed. "L-lu-lu is friendly. Now b-back with you."

His agreement seemed to appease her. "Come on, Jack, I'll race you." With the words, Meera took off as fast as her chubby, four year old legs would carry her.

Race? Jack was constantly amazed at how Daniel's kids seemed to have no concept of his limitations. He watched to be sure she was heading in the right direction. When Sha're waved her over Jack knew she'd be safe and sat down on an empty crate for a quick breather, proud he had been able to coral Meera by himself. He wasn't completely helpless.

It was then he heard male voices coming from behind him, just beyond the tent he was resting behind.

He was shocked to hear his name and listened more closely.

"Is not the man staying with your sister and Danyel, O'Neill? The great warrior who rescued us from Ra?"

"No, he's not." There was no mistaking Skaara's voice.

Jack was startled at the denial. Skaara was ashamed of him. The answer angered Jack and he was tempted to show himself and confront his young friend.

"But I saw him with Danyel. He's at the festival today. Why did you not tell us, Skaara? Why do you lie even now? It is him. I've seen with my own eyes."

"I have not lied. It is true the man staying with my sister and brother-in-law was once O'Neill. But his mind and body were ravaged by the Goa'uld. I know O'Neill and this is not him. He is not the same man at all."

New memories? He had been foolish this afternoon at the Honor Stone. It was plain to see whatever he had achieved as a member of SG-1 was all he would ever accomplish. The Honor Stone was dedicated to the O'Neill that Skaara was mourning. That O'Neill had nothing in common with the current old fool who occupied the tired, worn body. All spirit of enthusiasm drained out of him at the words. Not for the first time, Jack wished Baal's sarcophagus had either failed to revive him or that he'd been given one more shot in it before it was destroyed. Either way would have saved him the trouble of living out this wretched existence and the enormous burden he had unwittingly heaped upon his friends.

Skaara looked up, obviously surprised to see him there. For a second, their eyes locked and Skaara didn't flinch or blush with embarrassment. Why should he? He had only said what was probably on everyone's mind. After a few seconds Jack turned away from the enormous amount of pity directed his way and stumbled backwards, barely catching himself from tumbling headfirst into a box of exotic fabrics. He limped away as fast as he could manage without falling on his ass. He was out of breath by the time he made it back to the safety of Daniel and his family.

"Jack, there you are. Thanks for sending Meera back... are you okay?"

"Home."

"Not yet, the dancing is this evening. The costumes are beautiful and with all the candles, well, it's quite impressive. Sha're loves it. It's actually the highlight of the festival."

"H-home, p-please." Jack wasn't above begging.

"Why?" Daniel was suddenly peering at him strangely.

"Tired. You p-p-promised."

"Why don't you lie down for a while longer on the blanket? You really don't want to miss the dancers."

"Promised," Jack repeated. He had an overwhelming need to get out of here. "M-me g-go. Y-you, k-kids s-stay."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Tired. You p-promised."

"I did," Daniel conceded. "I'll get the mastadge and get you home. I'm sorry if it was too much for you. I thought you were enjoying it."

A few minutes later Daniel was back with the beast. This time Jack made no effort to walk a few steps on his own or to make excuses. He climbed up on the animal and let Daniel lead him home like a child on a two dollar pony ride. What did it matter?

As soon as they were home Jack slid off the beast and went directly to his room, grateful Daniel had seen fit to build him his own private addition. He was hoping Daniel would just go but he should have known better.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Daniel knelt beside the bed.

"T-tired. You g-go."

"Jack?"

"G-go. Please."

After a bit of probing and getting nowhere Daniel must have taken him at his word. Jack was relieved when Daniel finally left him alone to rejoin his wife and family at the festival.

~~~~~~

  
"D-D-Danny?" Jack's stutter was deep and pronounced, a sure sign he was distressed or struggling to find words he needed.

"Me..." At Daniel's look, Jack took a deep breath, "I w-want to to to..." he hit his head with his hand.

"Hey, don't do that." Daniel said softly. "Just take your time." He smiled his encouragement. "What do you want to do?"

"The market." Jack said after a few minutes. "Sh-Sha're w-w-wants a new pot. Me..I want to g-give it to h-h-her." Since the festival Jack seemed less nervous about going into the marketplace and being around people.

"A new pot? I didn't know she needed a new pot." Daniel said. He put his notebook down and stood.

"I b-broke it." Jack said and Daniel noticed Jack's right hand shaking.

"Not on purpose."

"N-no. But I pay. I make it r-right."

Daniel nodded and opened the door, allowing Jack to go out first. He kept his pace slow in deference to Jack's hesitant gait. They received friendly smiles and waves as they passed through the town towards the market.

"M-Meera tell...told me Sula m-makes good pots."

Smiling at Jack's interest and his attempts at continuing a conversation, Daniel agreed. "He does. He and Nefrit, his wife, even send their pots on Besim's caravan. They are well known for their craftmanship."

"Good. Sha're needs good pots." Jack smiled at Daniel as he rubbed his stomach and licked his lips.

Daniel laughed. It was wonderful to see Jack's sense of humor returning and the growing confidence his friend displayed.

"Ah, here is Sula's shop." Daniel stopped at a stall jutting out from a small building. Rugs on the ground were piled high with vessels of all kinds. Daniel watched as Jack clenched his hands into fists.

"Danyel! It is good to see you. Has Sha're sent you to do her marketing yet again?" An old woman called out from behind a stack of pots.

"Not today, Nefrit." Daniel said. He touched Jack's arm, motioning for him to come closer as Nefrit emerged from behind the pots. Nefrit looked up at Jack, her black eyes twinkling with curiosity. "This is my friend, Jack. He's come to live with my family."

"Ah." Nefrit nodded and then smiled. "So this is O'Neill."

"Jack needs to..." Daniel began.

"I talk, Danny. I tell." Jack said, his mouth set in a stubborn line. He looked back at Nefrit and Daniel hoped that Jack would be able to convey his wishes easily. He reminded himself Jack needed to do this on his own, that Jack was capable of expressing himself.

"Sorry," Daniel murmured. He took a step away, prepared to watch the transaction.

"Sh-Sha're needs a new pot." Jack said, giving Daniel a triumphant grin as he finished his sentence.

"I see," Nefrit said. "And what kind of pot does she need?"

Jack looked confused a moment then he smiled. "Like the one I broke."

"Jack, she means..." Dark looks from both Nefrit and Jack quelled Daniel's interference.

"Was it a cooking pot? One for water?" Nefrit questioned, pulling Jack's hand and leading him behind the stall.

"For c-cooking. For for for stew." Jack said. "It was her b-best pot and I broke it."

"Then we will have to find another best pot." Nefrit said, leading Jack even further.

Daniel followed as the two went back to Sula's work area. The old man was sitting at his potter's wheel busy throwing a pot.

Nefrit disappeared behind a curtain. Daniel could hear her talking to herself as she searched for something.

"How do you know how to do that?" Jack asked as he stared at Sula.

The old man didn't look up from his work. "The clay tells me what it wants to be." He pressed his fingers into the center of the clay. "This clay wishes to be a drinking mug."

Nefrit emerged from behind the curtain, carrying a large pot very similar to the broken one but Daniel saw her pause as she noticed Jack's concentration.

Daniel had seen Sula work many times. He kept his eyes on Jack who seemed entranced by the process. Sula finished the mug and placed it to the side, to be fired later. The potter finally looked up at all of them. He smiled at Jack.

"Do you wish to try?"

"Try?" Jack asked, taking a step towards Daniel. Despite wanting to help Jack, Daniel kept silent.

"I thought perhaps you would like to try your hands at forming the clay." Sula said. He made a sweeping gesture with his hand, indicating a place by his side.

"I c-came to buy a pot. Just that," Jack said, his voice low and hesitant. "But..."

"You can do it. I can wait," Daniel said, keeping his tone neutral.

Jack nodded and then took his place by Sula. The old man handed him a piece of clay. Jack looked at the wheel with curiosity.

"No. Not the wheel to start. First you must learn to listen with your hands," Sula said. He took another piece, showing Jack how to make the clay malleable.

"We will be some time, Danyel," Sula said, as he placed his hand over Jack's to correct some movement Daniel couldn't see. "Jack will come home when he is finished with his lesson."

"But, he, Jack doesn't know..." he trailed off at the hurt look Jack gave him. "I'm sorry, Jack. Do you know how to get home?"

Jack nodded. "I can. I can, D-D-Danny."

"I'll see you then," Daniel said. Turning his back and walking away was one of the hardest things he'd done in a long time.

~~~~~

  
Sha're stood up the minute Daniel walked into the courtyard. There were only two people who'd always seen through his defenses, Sha're and Jack. Daniel sighed. He didn't stand a chance of ever getting away with anything ever again.

  
"Where is Jack?" Sha're asked, her dark eyes showing concern.

"He and I went to the market. He wanted to, well, I can't tell you what he wanted to do because it's a surprise. But then we went to Sula's and Nefrit's and Sula decided to give Jack lessons on pottery making."

"And this troubles you?"

Daniel sat cross-legged at her feet, holding out his hands for Joban who was pulling himself up by grabbing his mother's robes. "They sent me home. Told me Jack could find his way."

"You are jealous," Sha're said, with just a hint of laughter.

"Jealous? No, I'm not." Daniel tilted his head back to look up at her.

"You are. You are afraid someone else will be able to help Jack in a way you cannot."

"That makes me sound so petty." Daniel replied, trying to ignore the validity of Sha're's statement.

"No. It makes you sound as if you love and care for your friend. Jack is re-learning more every day. Do you not wish him to do so?"

"Of course I do. It's just that...Sha're, you and me, we know what Jack was like before the accident. And we see him struggle daily."

"Yes. But did we pick up Kasey or Meera each time they fell when learning to walk? Do we do so with Joban?"

"I know, my love." Daniel whispered. "I know." He let go of Joban who was pushing at his hands, wanting to explore the courtyard. Daniel let him go, watching as Joban took a few toddling steps and then plopped down on his behind. His son seemed supremely unconcerned with  
the delay, simply pushing himself to his feet again and taking a few more steps before he fell once more.

Daniel looked up at Sha're once more and smiled at his wife's serene expression. He got up, dusting off his robes and gave her a kiss. "Thank you."

"You are welcome." Sha're replied, stroking his cheek. "And perhaps now you will show your appreciation by repairing the roof as I've been asking since the last full moons?

"Ah that." Daniel said. "To think I thought you a shy hesitant maiden on our first meeting." He laughed as she reached out to swat his arm and went to fetch a ladder.

~~~~~~

"Jack's home, Jack's home!" Kasey's excited voice carried through the house. Daniel couldn't hear Jack's reply but he quickly finished toweling off from his earlier work and followed the sound of voices to Jack's living quarters. He'd often told the children that the area was Jack's private space and they needed to ask permission to enter, but he had the suspicion that spending the day without Jack they'd been all over their honorary uncle the minute he'd entered the house.

"Kasey, Meera. I hope you aren't bothering Jack." He called, allowing both the children and Jack to know he was approaching.

"N-n-not a b-bother." Jack answered. He grinned at Daniel as he dug in his robes. "S-sweets." He handed a small pouch of candied fruit to Kasey and Meera. "Okay?" He looked at Daniel.

Daniel sighed. "One piece each and then take it to your mother. She'd be disappointed if you didn't eat the meal she is preparing."

When the children made to leave, Daniel stopped them. "Manners?"

Kasey's mouth formed into a perfect little oh. "Thank you, Jack."

"Yes, thank you. Daddy doesn't buy me sweets." Meera said as she hugged Jack.

Daniel watched his two oldest left the room and turned to find Jack laughing at him.

"N-no no sweets?"

"Of course I do." Daniel said, sitting down on a chair. "But Meera thinks I should buy her sweets every day."

"You like sweets." Jack said. He sat down on the other chair.

"Yes, I do." Daniel said. "And Sam needs to send more chocolate."

"L-l-l-look." Jack said, pointing to the pot Daniel had seen Nefret holding earlier. "For Sha're."

"She'll like it a lot, Jack." Daniel nodded but was still puzzled. "How did you pay for it? And for the sweets?"

"A..." Jack hesitated, his face scrunching up as he tried to think of the word he needed. "Sula pays me. I help him."

"A job? You got a job?" Daniel asked.

"He said I'm his a-a-a...he said he'll teach me to make pots."

"Apprentice." Daniel supplied the word. "Jack, you don't need to get a job. Sha're and I--you're part of our family."

"Y-yes. I work. I eat. I live here. I work." Jack said. He pointed to his head. "I c-c-can't t-think right, but I c-can work."

Since Jack's arrival on Abydos, Daniel had been reminded daily of the aftermath of Jack's injury, but he rarely stopped to think of what the loss of his career had meant to Jack--a fiercely independent and private man. And now it seemed, Jack, the Jack Daniel knew, the resilient and strong soldier had found himself a job with no help from Daniel. How selfish was he to want to burst Jack's bubble of happiness?

"Danny?" Jack asked, leaning forward in his chair. "You sad?"

"No, Jack. I'm not sad. I'm happy. And proud," Daniel explained. The smile he received in return was worth all the worry he'd spent today.

"I'll w-work hard." Jack said. "J-just wait and see."

"I know you will."

  
~~~~~~

  
"Daddy! Daddy!" Meera called as Daniel came into the house. Daniel braced for his daughter's impact. She grabbed him around the thighs and squealed as he lifted her into the air and spun her around.

"How's my girl?"

"I was good, Daddy. I helped Mama buy some fruit and then we washed all the clothes."

She rubbed her nose against his and then squirmed to be put down. As soon as her feet were on the floor, she grabbed Daniel's hand. "Come see."

"See what?" Daniel let himself be led towards Jack's quarters.

She crooked one finger, motioning for Daniel to bend down. He looked into his daughter's earnest brown eyes. "I think Jack is sad."

"Sad, sweetheart?"

Meera nodded, her expression solemn. "He won't come out and play with me. I told Lulu to stay with him."

"That was a good idea." Daniel said, giving her a quick hug. "Why don't you go help Mama? I think she'd like that."

Meera nodded before walking away, but she only took a few steps before she turned to face Daniel again. "Daddy? Will you make Jack feel better again? Like he used to be before he came to live with us?"

Grateful that Meera didn't wait for a reply, Daniel swallowed hard before knocking on the door to Jack's quarters. He only wished it was as easy as his daughter seemed to think.

"D-D-D-Danny?"

Jack frowned at him as he opened the door. He moved away to let Daniel enter, ignoring him and going straight back to the chairs that had a view of the courtyard. Jack sat, his hands automatically going to Lulu as she jumped back on his lap.

Daniel sat down in the chair next to Jack's, giving his friend a quick glance. He made note of the trembling hands, a sure sign of fatigue and upset and something he hadn't seen since Jack had begun working as Sula's apprentice. He waited in silence, hoping Jack would speak but the time stretched with no comments until Daniel felt compelled to break the quiet.

"What happened?"

"S-s-s-..." Jack hit his hand on the chair when he couldn't get the word out. "M-m-me s-s-s-..."

When he raised his hand to hit again, Daniel covered it with his own. "Don't do that." He forced a smile. "You'll hurt your hand and then you won't be able to work for Sula."

Jack pulled his hand away and glared at Daniel. He got to his feet and pushed open the door to the small private patio, his limp far more pronounced than usual. Daniel followed, unsure of what was troubling his friend, but determined to find out.

"Jack," he began but stopped when Jack turned to face him.

"Me. Me s-s-stupid." Jack hit his chest with his hand.

"You're not," Daniel insisted. He made a mental note of the wrong pronoun. "You're not stupid. God, Jack, you've come so far. You have a job. You work."

"No." Jack went back in his room and came out again carrying a small pot. "No work." He held up the pot for Daniel's inspection.

"What do you mean? Sula wanted you as his apprentice. He didn't tell you you couldn't work anymore did he?" Daniel certainly hoped that wasn't the case.

"No. No, me, I say no work." Jack said.

"But why?" Daniel was totally confused. Ever since Jack had started working for Sula, he'd seemed more like the old Jack, gaining confidence and improving his speaking and fine motor skills. "You like working for Sula. You're learning how to be a potter."

"No." Jack yelled. "Look."

Daniel looked at the pot, slightly misshapen but certainly useable for carrying oil or some other liquid. "It looks fine. And I'm sure Sula was very proud."

"It's n-n-not." Jack said. "Not p-perfect. Like me." He threw the pot onto the tile, smashing it. "All wrong." Jack hung his head and stared at the ruined pot. "All wrong. J-just like me," he whispered.

Daniel looked at the broken pieces and then knelt down to begin picking them up.

"What you doing?" Jack asked. Daniel looked up to see him staring down with his arms folded over his chest.

"I'm going to fix it." Daniel said. He stood. "It's only in a few pieces."

"No good."

"Oh, I don't know." Daniel went back into Jack's quarters and put the pieces on a small table. "I'm an archaeologist. I've put together pots in a lot worse shape than this."

"Ha." Jack said, but he took a step closer to peer at the broken pot. "You fix? R-r-really?"

"I can put it back together." Daniel said. "But it won't be the same as it was before."

"Oh." Jack said. He reached out and nudged a piece closer to Daniel. "Here."

"I'll need to get my glue. We can work on it after we eat." Daniel held up the piece making a show of inspecting it.

"G-good." Jack stared at the pot before looking at Daniel. "I-I'm not the s-same."

"No. No you're not exactly the same as you were. But you're still Jack, just like this," Daniel showed Jack the piece he was holding, "will still be a pot once we fix it."

"I m-make mistakes," Jack said quietly.

"Jack, I hate to tell you this, but you did before too," Daniel replied. And before Jack could say anything he added. "And so do I. Just ask Sha're. She'll give you a list." Daniel grunted as Jack pulled him into a rough hug for a moment before releasing him.

"I m-make m-more. And get better."

"That's right." Daniel said. "And now before we get in trouble, we'd better go join Sha're and the kids for supper."

"Right," Jack answered and led the way from his quarters.

Daniel spared one last glance for the broken pot and smiled as he followed. Jack was getting there--slowly but surely. And Daniel was far more patient than anyone knew.

~~~~~

"Kasey!"

Jack practically jumped off his bed at the sound of Sha're's call. He could hear Sha're and Skaara exchanging greetings and making small talk, waiting for young Kasey's appearance.

"Kasey, come quickly," Sha're tried again. This time she clapped her hands together for emphasis. "Uncle Skaara is here and he will not wait all day." Next, she addressed Skaara, her voice a bit quieter, but Jack had no trouble hearing her words from his room. "You, my brother, will be careful with my son."

It wasn't a suggestion, it was a command and Jack smiled at the tone of her voice.

"Kasey is as curious and stubborn as his father," Sha're continued. "You will not take your eyes off of him."

Jack snorted. Sha're knew her son well. Today was Kasey's natal day or in Jack's mind, just a good old fashioned seventh birthday. Because Daniel had business in a neighboring village, Skaara had volunteered to take Kasey on an overnight trip of his choice to celebrate the occasion. The younger Jackson was itching to see the abandoned mines the Abydonians had been forced to labor in during the dark days of Ra. It was a bit of an obsession. Jack couldn't help but smile, the Jackson's were good at obsession. Kasey had been begging Jack to take him for the past few months but common sense had overcome pleading. The mines were vast and Jack had steadfastly refused. He considered Kasey too young and himself too old and crippled to take proper care. Even now he worried.

Skaara was competent and young enough to keep up with the exuberant boy but things happened. Bad things. No one knew that better than Jack O'Neill. He had once been a devoted father and a full bird Colonel, team leader of SG-1 and second in command of the entire SGC. He considered himself cautious and diligent and had often been accused of being overprotective. All that, and still he hadn't been able to stop bad things from happening. One thing was certain, he wasn't Kasey's parents and it wasn't his decisionbut that still wouldn't stop him from worrying until they returned. He couldn't help it.

"Uncle Skaara will leave without you for your dawdling." Sha're's voice was rich and pleasant with teasing. Jack clearly heard the undertone of playfulness he had eventually come to identify and appreciate. Sha're was a jewel among women. He had once rescued her from the clutches of Ammonet and she in turn rescued him from a life of institutionalized loneliness. Life was funny that way. He loved her more than he would have imagined possible. To borrow a long ago quote from an old friend, 'Daniel was one lucky son of a bitch.'

"I'm here!"

From his room Jack envisioned the look of excitement on Kasey's face as he made his appearance.

"Wait, I have more stuff!"

The sound of the boy's feet pounding back to his room echoed in the hallway and then a loud crash as more of his gear must have landed in a heap on the floor. "I have everything I need to be an explorer and an archaeologist. Daddy and Jack helped me pack!"

Jack smiled at an enthusiasm so foreign to him he could barely remember its accompanying emotions.

"All set, my nephew?" Skaara's voice made Jack long for his old self and the special friendship he and Skaara had once shared. He had no doubt the old Jack would have been joining them on the expedition instead of sitting home worrying about it.

"It's my special day so I get to pick what we do, right?" Kasey sounded thoughtful and calculating.

Jack was no stranger to that tone. He absently wondered if Kasey's brow had creased and his index finger was lightly tapping his lower lip. If it were Daniel speaking, the Colonel in him would have been on full red alert and thinking, 'oh, no.'

"Yes, of course, whatever you want," Skaara replied. "That is why your parents have finally relented on your desire to see the old mines. It is what you want, yes?"

"I want Jack to come with us," Kasey blurted out.

Jack cringed at the words. Last night he had taken over from an exhausted Daniel and sat on the edge of Kasey's bed telling the youngster stories of their first visit to Abydos, how the sight of the endless mines and the starving slaves had touched them all deeply. How he had met his grandfather and uncle. He had repeated Kasey's favorite story of how his mother and father had fallen head over heels in love. Jack always omitted the part about Sha're being a 'gift'. He didn't consider that part of the story his to tell. The old tales worked wonders and Kasey had eventually given in to sleep. He must have thought Jack wanted to see the mines as much as he did. Wrong!

Sha're would set him straight.

"That's a very good idea, little one. Let's go ask him."

Curses to the woman... a jewel? More like a thorn in his side.

"Kasey," Skaara intervened. "Would you not like to take the journey with just the two of us?"

Although it hurt, Jack was glad someone had the good sense to nix the ridiculous idea.

"No. I want Jack to come with us. He can show me all the places him and daddy visited." The high, childish voice was tinged with a hint of steel that the boy came by genetically. Jack knew he was in trouble before Sha're called him out.

"Jack! Come here please." If the two of them were of one mindset he was toast and he knew it.

He tried not to limp too obviously in front of Skaara and nearly fell over from the effort. Sha're gave him an annoyed glance at his stubbornness but said nothing.

"S-Skaara." Jack greeted politely, but had trouble maintaining eye contact. He hated the fear and disappointment he knew he'd glimpse in the dark eyes of his old, young friend.

"O'Neill." Skaara predictably focused on the mound of Kasey's equipment piled on the floor before him.

"Jack, I want you to come with us to the mines." Kasey had no trouble making eye contact. The bright blue eyes sparkled.

"I d-don't know if that's such a g-good idea, buddy. I might s-slow you d-down." It was a half-hearted attempt at best. Jack had been on the receiving end of that determined stare many a time and had rarely come out the victor.

"It is a good idea," Kasey predictably insisted. "You won't slow us down. I want you to come." The mini mule wasn't going to budge. "My two best friends will be with me when I see the mines and make some of the world's greatest discoveries!" The sweeping hand gestures shouted 'Daniel'. "Pleeeaaase, Jack?"

Toast. For once, he wished Daniel were here to coddle him and give him his way. Jack spared Skaara a helpless shrug and went to pack.

Maybe being close by would be better than two or three days of long distance worrying. Nah, he'd still worry. What good would he be in a crisis? Sure he was still diligent, over-protective and cautious... a diligent, over-protective, cautious, goddamned cripple.

~~~~

"Jack? Are you awake?"

Kasey slept beside him with Skaara a safer distance away. The long travel day had taken a lot out of Jack, he had no doubt Skaara and Kasey would be camping at the mines had he not tagged along. Kasey didn't seem to mind but Jack was sure Skaara had noticed and secretly scoffed at his lack of ability to keep up. He had once again been humiliated when Kasey suggested he ride on the back of the mastage they had brought along to haul supplies. Humiliated or not, he had been exhausted enough to agree. The old Jack O'Neill would have been to the mines and back without breaking a sweat. If not for Kasey, Jack decided he would gladly slink back home and happily hide out in his room for the rest of his natural days.

Staring upward reminded him of the past... heady, wondrous nights spent studying strange constellations in alien skies with Daniel, Carter and Teal'c beside him. An acute sense of loss and regret slammed into him bringing unexpected tears.

"Jack?" The soft, quiet voice was a persistent little devil. Wonder where the kid got that from?

"Are you glad you came with us?" The small body snuggled closer.

"Go to s-sleep," Jack managed evenly. "You have a b-big day tomorrow."

"I'm glad you came," the childlike voice sleepily whispered in the darkness. "I'm glad."

Jack kissed the top of the golden head and tried not to think about the mines and the Abydonians and the Goa'uld and the SGC and his friends and ex-teammates. It wasn't easy. He had gone from a competent leader to a liability. Skaara could see it and pitied him. He hadn't given it much thought, but maybe Daniel and Sha're pitied him as well. Or perhaps they felt an obligation to him for rescuing Sha're from the Goa'uld. How long would they have to pay for that deed? For a long time Jack had focused his attention on seeking revenge on Baal. Eventually, even that vengeful dream had faded. He had no purpose and was a shell of the man he once was. Jack rolled over to hide his bitter emotions from the sleeping, innocent Kasey. He would never be able to make peace with who he was until he could let go of who he had once been.

~~~~~

Even though he had been the last one to fall asleep, Jack was the first one up. He made a pot of coffee for himself and Skaara. Daniel had turned half the population of Abydos on to the joys of caffeine addiction.

When Skaara appeared he gratefully accepted a cup. "Thank you, O' Neill."

Jack nodded, hesitant to speak too many words. He hated stuttering and stumbling in front of the kid. The silence was awkward and uncomfortable and both of them were thankful when Kasey emerged from the tent with a burst of energy.

  
"How long til we reach the mines?" Kasey was pulling on his robes as he spoke.

"Only an hour or two and we shall be there my overanxious nephew."

"Well, come on, let's go, guys!"

Skaara had the small pup tent folded and packed in minutes.

"Breakfast first." Jack offered up a plate of flat bread accompanied by a block of cheese Sha're had packed for the trip.

"I'm not hungry. Let's go!" Kasey quickly rolled up his sleeping bag and grabbed his backpack.

Of course you're not, Jack chuckled to himself. "We're n-not l-leaving until you eat." He shook the plate in Kasey's direction.

"But, Jaaaack," the boy moaned. "We're on an adventure. Explorers don't have time to eat!" The blonde haired, blued eyed boy stood before him animatedly arguing his position.

Jack was unmoved. He'd heard it all before.

"N-no exploring until a-after b-b-breakfast." Jack had been enjoying himself until he noticed how Skaara turned away at his stuttering. He was about to give up when Kasey grabbed the plate and dutifully ate.

"Now can we go?"

"Okay, l-let's go." Jack suppressed another chuckle at the 'over the top' exasperation.

When they hiked up the last ridge of sand Kasey's eyes went wide with shock and for once the little guy was at a loss for words as he stared out over the huge, never-ending expanse of the mines, layers upon layers of trails and caves in the sand as far as the eye could see.

Jack looked up at Skaara who seemed mesmerized as well. He guessed his young friend had not been back to the site since the rebellion against Ra had been fought and won. Skaara had been nothing more than a teenager when they had first met, young and brave. Hell, they had all been young.

"Did you have to work in the mines, Uncle Skaara?" Kasey spoke quietly, reverently, instinctively knowing the site was now a sacred memorial to the thousands who had died here.

"I did. We all did. We were nothing but slaves to the Goa'uld until..." Skaara's voice trailed off as he glanced up to meet Jack's gaze. "Until O'Neill and the people of Earth came to our aid."

For a brief moment, the young man's eyes held the admiration and respect Jack had cherished and taken for granted. It was difficult being honored and remembered for your past without any consideration given to your present. As if he were dead. The thought crossed Jack's mind he might as well be. He too wished to be remembered for his old, 'hero/warrior, savior of Abydos' self, not the stumbling, stuttering, bumbling idiot he had recently become.

"And my daddy too?" Kasey was enthralled as images of old Abydos sprang to life in such close proximity to the recent past.

"Yes, Danyel too. Your father was very brave."

Kasey beamed at the thought of his mild-mannered dad bravely facing down the hated Goa'uld.

"Will I be brave?" The serious eyes shone with concern.

"Of course, you are brave, my nephew. You are from a family of warriors and leaders. All brave to the last breath."

Skaara good naturedly ran his hand through the blonde hair while Jack silently prayed it would never be necessary for the young boy to test his bravery to the same extent his parents and uncle and ancestors had been forced to.

"Let's go in!" Kasey's excited voice broke them out of their spell.

Jack grabbed the boy's arm before he had a chance to go running off. "Hey, s-slow d-down, buddy." Kasey folded his arms across his chest and released a long suffering, impatient sigh. Jack ignored it and despite the embarrassing stutter, forged ahead. "You n-need to be extra c-careful in there. The -g-g-ground may be unsteady from overgrown m-mine shafts and old t-tunnels."

Kasey shifted his feet, obviously impatient but knowing better than to interrupt.

"There c-could even be some old o-ordinance l-laying around or b-booby traps left by the s-snakeheads. You c-can't just going r-running around in there like it's your own personal p-playground." He was almost finished when he remembered to add, "And d-don't t-touch anything unless you ask S-skaara or m-me first. Understand?"

"Okay. Can we go now?" This time Kasey looked to Skaara for approval. Apparently, Uncle Jack was no fun at all.

Jack felt old and decrepit when Skaara shot him an impatient, barely tolerant look as well. "Yes, let's go my young nephew. I will show you the mine I worked in with my friends when I was thirteen years old. I can show you where I spit in a guard's face and the pit I was chained up in for three days without food or drink."

"Wow! I want to see, Uncle Skaara. I want to see everything!"

Skaara led the way and Kasey scampered after him. They'd gone quite a distance before Skaara turned to shout, "Are you coming, O'Neill?"

"N-no, you g-guys go ahead. I'm g-going to r-rest here a bit." He was an afterthought and it hurt, more than he could imagine.

Skaara waved his hand in acknowledgement but Kasey was already running ahead, stumbling in the sand towards the ruins of the old mines, Jack's instructions, no doubt, already forgotten.

Once alone, feelings of bitterness ran through Jack's soul. He was reduced to an old worrywart people tolerated but no longer paid much attention to. He forced a wave and a smile before going back to the supplies. He had not wanted to come on this little field trip, they had insisted, and now he was stuck here, tired and sore from walking and riding. He bitched and moaned as he set up the canopy tent for shade and settled down on a blanket taking a moment to despise himself for being pissed at a seven year old. A seven year old who happened to be one of the last true friends he had left in the world.

He dozed off quickly and dreamed of Daniel trying and failing to open the Abydos gate. Daniel, jumping in front a staff weapon, willing to die in order to save him. "No!" He didn't want that.

"O'Neill!"

"No," Jack yelled again in his sleepy state, wondering why Daniel was calling him 'O'Neill'. Daniel always called him Jack. Was it Teal'c?" What was Teal'c doing on Abydos?

"O'Neill! Wake up, it's me, Skaara. Wake up. There's been an accident. Come quickly. Kasey is trapped."

Immediately alert, Jack rose and limped after Skaara as quickly as he was able. It took a full thirty minutes to reach Kasey. It didn't help his state of worry that Skaara turned to implore him to move faster every minute or so. They finally stopped inside a dimly lit tunnel. Jack's gaze followed Skaara's pointing finger.

"What the hell? How did that happen?" Kasey was awake and alert sitting on the ground in an alcove just off the main tunnel. He looked perfectly fine except for his left arm that seemed to have disappeared into a hole in the side of the fortified dirt wall. As if he'd been reaching inside. Jack relaxed at the sight. He'd been expecting something far worse.

"He's stuck." Skaara was on the verge of a panic Jack didn't understand.

"Stuck, are ya?" Jack addressed a pale Kasey for the first time.

"My arm won't come out." Pulling and twisting as he spoke, Kasey gave Jack a shrug. "See."

"I've seen this before when I worked in the mines. The Goa'uld would leave scraps of food in these 'traps'. When a worker stuck his hand deeper into the hole to feel around for more food his arm would become stuck." Skaara's eyes suddenly lit up with the horror of realization. "The worker was trapped and after one full day he began to scream and when he'd finally pull himself free his arm would be gone. The wound still smoldering, burned closed. The Jaffa would..."

"Skaara!"

Kasey's arm was in up to his elbow. He must have managed to turn around before becoming one with the wall because his body was facing outward. He stopped squirming and went still at Skaara's words.

Despite Jack's warning, Skaara finished the story. "The Jaffa said the gods removed the arm as a form of punishment for sneaking extra rations."

"But," Jack said loudly for Kasey's benefit. "We all n-now know those stories aren't t-true, don't we?" Jack marveled at the how easily the Abydonians would revert back to their old ways of thinking when confronted with new mysteries of science or technology. He supposed old habits died hard.

Skaara's fear had rendered him mute.

"Don't we?" Jack put a hand on Skaara's shoulder. "Skaara, s-stay focused. I n-need you. K-kasey needs you." When Skaara nodded an acknowledgement Jack continued. "L-let's see what we g-got here."

"No!"

Ignoring Skaara's protests, Jack tried putting his own hand through the opening. "Damn!" He jumped back at the jolt of electricity. "It's some t-type of force f-field." Apparently once activated, nothing could pass in or out.

Skaara looked at him with scorn and pity and impatience. "How can it be a force field, O'Neill? The generators have been shut down since the fall of Ra. It has been almost ten years. It is impossible."

"No. N-not impossible, l-listen..."

Skaara cut him off mid-sentence. "You wait here with the boy. I will go back to the village and bring Danyel. He should be home by now. He will know what to do."

"Damn it! D-don't you walk away f-from me!" Jack felt anger rise in his chest as his old command self stirred within. He knew he was right about this, for Kasey's sake he needed to make Skaara understand.

Skaara stopped abruptly and turned at the familiar, authoritative tone.

"D-don't d-discount what I'm s-saying because of the s-stuttering and the l-limp. This is t-too important." Skaara looked up and met his eyes. "I've been in t-temples that have been d-deserted for hundreds of years with active booby traps. The G-Goa'uld use separate p-power sources for those, they l-love to wreak t-terror long after they're gone."

"Then I will go get Danyel while you can search for this power source of yours." Stubborn to the bone.

"By the t-time you get b-back it'll be t-too l-late." Jack spoke quietly so as not to upset Kasey. "D-Daniel will agree with m-me. He will. H-he'll just have to s-search for it, s-same as we do. B-but the d-day will be almost g-gone. T-time's up. Where d-does that leave K-Kasey?"

This was no time for stubborn pride. Jack spared a glance at the frightened seven year old before taking a deep breath and continuing. "I c-can't s-search for it m-myself. I can't c-climb. Hell, I c-can b-barely walk. I wouldn't be able to c-cover enough g-ground to f-find it. It'd be l-like a needle in a haystack." There, he'd said it. It was time to face the facts. There were some things he just couldn't do.

Skaara gave it some thought. "If there is a source of power, then Danyel will know where it is and how to make it stop, yes?"

"No. Maybe." Jack crooked his finger and motioned Skaara further out of Kasey's range of hearing." You s-said after one day the t-trapped person starts s-screaming and his arm is seared off, r-right?

"Yes."

"That g-gives us thirty s-six hours. M-more than enough time to find the p-power source and simply sh-shut the d-damn thing off. If we w-wait for you to get b-back with D-daniel we'll only have a few hours l-left."

"His father should be here to decide. If he ends up crippled..."

"Like m-me?" Jack interrupted. There was no point in beating around the bush.

"You have lived the life a great warrior, O'Neill. Your life was halted too soon but you have lived life to the fullest for many years. My nephew is just a boy. I would not want to live my life with only one arm and neither will he. His life will be over before it begins. You don't know for sure about the power source or where it is. What if I can't find it? What if you're wrong?"

"I'm n-not w-wrong. And you will f-find it." Jack shook his head in frustration at Skaara and at his own maddeningly slow speech. He gripped the young man's shoulder and looked him in the eye. "You t-trusted me once, Skaara. I'm asking you t-to trust m-me again."

"You're sure, O'Neill?" For the first time Skaara didn't flinch away from Jack's gaze.

"Trust me." Jack repeated clearly, finding his old, nearly forgotten bravado.

When Skaara finally nodded his consent Jack searched the recesses of his brain for any and all relevant information SG-1 had garnered over the years with regards to standard Goa'uld modus operandi. The faster Jack tried to talk the worse the stuttering became. In the end, he slowed down, and based on his years of experience in Goa'uld ruins, made his suggestions. The power source would most likely be housed deep underground, on the opposite end of complex from the main power grid. He also advised Skaara to thoroughly cover each section before moving on to the next. There'd be no time to backtrack. "Ready?"

Skaara nervously agreed and headed for the opening leading up and out of the tunnel. "O'Neill, how will I know which crystals control the force field?

Jack thought for a second. "It doesn't matter. Remove them all. Anything lit up."

Skaara nodded and left.

Jack was surprised to find he hated being the one left behind. He wanted to be the one leaving, the one searching...the one responsible for the outcome. The lack of control was what irked him. He was positive, given the chance, he'd locate the problem and fix it. Fixing things is what he did best, who he was. Until recently.

For the first time, doubt crept in. Maybe Skaara was right. He longed for Daniel, Sam and Teal'c to be at his side. The reality of the situation hit him hard. He was the one who was broken and in need, and the idea of fixing himself was so far beyond his own power it was laughable. How was he going to fix this for Kasey?

"Jack?" The little voice jolted him from his mind's selfish wanderings.

"Yeah?"

"I don't want my arm to fall off." The words were spoken softly then the dam burst and the tears flowed.

"Hey!" Jack hastily lowered himself to the ground and worked his worn, tired body into a sitting position behind the frightened boy. He wrapped his arms around Kasey's middle and the boy's head leaned back against him, the little body slouched against his chest, the narrow shoulders jerked up and down with quiet sobs.

  
"An archaeologist needs both his arms, Jack. I need to dig. I need to..."

"Hey," Jack interrupted, stopping the seven year old as Kasey tried twisting the extremity loose without success. "Nobody's arm is g-going to fall off, g-got it?" With a silent prayer, Jack squeezed Kasey's waist and planted a reassuring kiss into the soft hair.

"I w-wish my daddy was here." Kasey sighed and snuggled in close while Jack rubbed small circles on his back.

"I'm s-sorry he's n-not here for ya." Disappointment slammed into Jack at Kasey's lack of confidence.

But the child wasn't finished. "I wish you were looking for the crystals. You or daddy would find them. I know you would." At the words, Kasey popped his right thumb into his mouth and sucked vigorously. An old childhood habit Jack had hadn't seen for a long time and that was when the boy had been sick three days with a fever.

"Your uncle will f-find the off s-switch and just l-like that, you'll be f-free to explore another d-day."

Kasey settled at the easy tone and pulled the thumb out to whisper. "He's not SG-1 though, not like you and daddy."

"Hey, he's h-honorary. Besides, I t-told him where to l-look. If I c-could walk I'd g-go myself but S-Skaara's young and quick and he'll f-find it. Soon, very soon." Jack ran his fingers through Kasey's hair. The motion seemed to have a calming effect.

"I'm not a baby," Kasey disclosed in a quivering voice that sounded on the verge of another outburst of tears.

"No," Jack agreed. "Of course you're not. As a m-matter of f-fact, you're very b-brave. I'd put you on my t-team any day."

The blue eyes fluttered uncertainly at that.

"My arm hurts, Jack." Kasey futilely tugged again, desperately holding back the tears, not wanting to be a baby.

Cursing his own stupidity, Jack rose to his feet, no easy task after sitting on the dirt floor for thirty minutes. "I'll b-be right back." He held up a finger and stopped short of uttering 'stay right there.' He found Skaara and Kasey's backpacks just outside the main tunnel and hauled them inside. Next he piled them on top of each other and sat Kasey on top of them so his arm was no longer in a raised position.

"Better?"

Kasey nodded his relief. "I couldn't really be on SG-1, not really," he said sadly. "I'm not a very good archaeologist."

"Of c-course you are. Why w-would you s-say that?"

"Cause I got stuck."

"Hah!" Jack bellowed loudly. "L-listen, I've known a t-ton of archaeologists in my d-day and t-trust me, they're f-famous for t-touching things they're not s-supposed to and for n-not listening."

"They are?"

"Yep, they are." Jack chuckled at the surprised tone.

"Even my dad?"

"Especially your d-dad."

That elicited a faint Kasey chuckle. "Why, Jack?"

"Because they're naturally c-curious. Curious and f-fearless, a b-bad combination."

"Did daddy ever get stuck like me?"

"Hm, I don't r-remember him g-getting his arm s-stuck but he was f-famous for touching things."

"Even if you told him not to?" Kasey's eyes lit up with delight at the thought. "You were the boss, weren't you, Jack?"

"Yes and n-no." Jack laughed out loud at the notion.

"What kind of things did he touch?"

"L-Let's see..." Jack took his time, happy for Kasey's distraction from his perilous situation. "You're father t-touched the quantum mirror, that d-didn't go well, although it m-may have saved earth in the l-long run. That's a whole other s-story."

"What else, Jack?" Like all kids Kasey was enamored with any story about his father doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. Jack figured anything to keep the boy's mind off his troubles.

"I'd usually m-make a general announcement n-not to t-touch anything r-right before drawers began opening and alarms s-started sounding."

"Was it by mistake?" Kasey wanted to know.

"It was usually a-accompanied by an 'oops', but I n-never bought that act for a s-second." That elicited another childish chuckle.

"Did you get mad?"

"Nah. People like y-you and your dad are n-naturally curious, inquisitive. It's your n-nature. That's why you n-need people like me to p-protect you."

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Daddy's your best friend, right?"

"Yep, he is." There was no doubt about that. No one else on Earth or Abydos or in any quadrant of the universe would have taken him in and cared for him, especially in the early days when he was incapable of caring for himself.

"Can people have two best friends?"

Jack smiled and squeezed the little boy's free hand. "They sure c-can. I have f-four myself."

"You do?" Kasey's eyes were wide with surprise that suddenly turned to disappointment. "Oh, Sam, Teal'c, daddy and Uncle Skaara."

"Almost. Sam, T-Teal'c, Daniel and... you."

"Me?" The spark was back.

"Yes, you, kiddo. Your Uncle S-Skaara, he's a g-good friend, a c-close friend but SG-1, we're different. We're f-family."

"I'm family? With SG-1?"

"Yep. Family."

Kasey smiled happily and leaned back against him with a yawn while Jack rubbed his thumb rhythmically up and down the boy's temple. After hours of fear and angst, young Kasey finally fell asleep.

~~~~~

"O'Neill!" Skaara's exuberant voice boomed through the tunnel.

Jack jerked himself awake at the excitement, Kasey stirring beneath his hand. With no idea how much time had passed, Jack opened his eyes in time to catch Skaara's expression change from one of jubilation to horror.

"It's off, O'Neill. It's off," he shouted. "Why is he still stuck?" The words were a combination of accusation and bitter disappointment.

Jack gently slid out from behind Kasey, painfully forcing himself to his feet, the hours on the floor taking their toll on his already damaged body. He limped toward Skaara, one hand supporting himself on the tunnel wall. "K-keep your voice d-down. He's asleep"

"There is not much time left and my nephew is still stuck. I should have gotten Danyel. I should not have listened to you." Skaara was beside himself, shaking his head in grief and anger.

"You r-removed the c-crystals?" Jack's eyes shone with doubt and disbelief.

"Yes, I found them on the east end of the mines, deep underground, just as you said." Skaara's voice filled with disgust.

"All of them? You're s-sure?"

"All of them, and yet nothing has changed. You do not know what you are talking about, O'Neill. If Danyel were here he would have figured out the mystery and freed his son. Now I fear it is too late and all hope is lost. I should not have listened." The anger was gone, replaced with despair.

Lightheaded and faint, Jack's vision blackened for a second and he grabbed the wall to keep himself from falling. His stomach lurched and his knees buckled at his own stupidity having overlooked the obvious. The mines covered hundreds, maybe thousands of acres, there could be twenty or thirty or a hundred small power sources maintaining the traps and meeting smaller energy needs. He had been thinking of temple ruins, in an area this vast... he had been foolish to think there would only be one, his mind was obviously not as sharp as it had once been.

Jack lowered his head in defeat. He had been wrong and now Kasey would pay the consequences.

"I will go now as quickly as I can and bring back Danyel and the Healer. It will be too late to save the arm but Kasey will need his father's comfort."

Without waiting for a reply, Skaara turned and quickly left the cave, leaving Jack alone with Kasey and his fate. He would rather spend the rest of his life in Baal's house of horrors than witness Kasey's inevitable fate.

"Jack?" The small, soft voice called him but his legs were made of stone and he found himself unable to move.

"Jack, please come."

Mustering all of his courage, Jack made his way back to the small, innocent figure and slid down the wall beside the scared child, silently cursing the Goa'uld for the misery they'd left in their wake.

"You can fix it, Jack."

Jack kept his head bowed, unwilling to see the hope shining in the blue eyes. "No, I can't," he whispered.

"Yes, you can."

The child-like faith in the small voice only served to spark Jack's fury at all he had lost.

"No, I c-can't." This time he shouted, raging at the injustice. "Everything is not fixable, I'm n-not fixable and you won't be either." The words were out before he could stop himself. The doubt and fear and loneliness of the past year slammed into him and overflowed into the dimly lit chamber.

The boy's eyes never wavered.

The rage turned to shame and regret. "Kasey, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He hugged the boy hard and broke down. For the first time since his release from the Goa'uld prison he let go and sobbed for what he was and for what he had once been and for what was about to happen to the beloved child in his arms.

When he was finished, his demons temporarily purged, he was shocked to find Kasey's eyes dry and determined. "You can try, Jack," he said quietly. "You can try until the time is up."

There was no doubt this kid had Daniel's blood flowing through his veins.

The look of peaceful confidence on the child's face startled him. Jack took a deep breath to compose himself, aware his outpouring of emotion had little to do with Kasey's current situation.

His sorrow and self pity had been more about reliving those old feelings and past glories, being the hero again, proving himself to Skaara. How fucking selfish was that? Maybe he was no longer the charmed, lucky, self-assured, full of bravado, hard ass Colonel of SG-1, savior of Abydos, patron saint of scientists and archaeologists, but he was still Jack O'Neill, a man, a mere mortal, but a mortal with experience and expertise. For the first time since standing on the precipice of a thousand deaths in Baal's prison he felt at peace with Jack O'Neill, both the Colonel and the man.

The kid was right, he could try... but try what?

"You'll try, right, Jack?" Kasey took his hand and squeezed it.

"Yeah, buddy, I'll try."

"Okay, good." Kasey voice remained surprisingly calm. "Why do you think it didn't work when Uncle Skaara shut it down?"

"I'm not sure, maybe there's more than one." Jack rubbed the shoulder beneath his hand. He didn't have much time left, then again he didn't want to run off half cocked without a plan.

"Oh," Kasey said excitedly. "Then all you have to do is find the other one and turn it off."

Jack nodded grimly. "The problem is there may be more than two. This place is so big there could be a lot of them."

"Then turn them all off, Jack."

Jack rose and tousled the blonde hair fondly. "Yep, that's exactly what I'm going to do." Kasey seemed relaxed for the moment and Jack wanted him to keep him that way. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You'll find it." The confidence in the childish voice caused a lump to form in Jack's throat.

"I'll do the v-very b-best I can. That's a p-promise." Jack leaned down to kiss the blonde hair goodbye. He turned one last time at the tunnel leading out to catch Kasey's fleeting smile and quick wave. When the small thumb popped back into the boy's mouth Jack left with an iron determination he hadn't felt in well over a year.

~~~~~

Fuck!

He'd been at for over two hours and found he was wandering the same shafts, going in circles, thinking he must have missed something. Exactly what he'd warned Skaara not to do. Focus, O'Neill! He had no trouble finding the traps. They were marked and now that he knew what to look, they seemed rather obvious. The Goa'uld had to know where to put the bait. Not to mention, they were supposed to be in plain site in order to lure in innocent, desperate unsuspecting victims. Goa'uld crystals were another story. They were usually well hidden. Skaara had done well to find the one he did. All the traps were active so whatever grid Skaara had knocked out had absolutely no effect on this section of the mine. Knowing how to spot the traps seemed like useless intel. He needed to find the damn crystals.

Fuck! Jack fell back on his original assessment of the situation. The crystals could be anywhere. His head was pounding, his bad leg and arm felt tingly and numb and his knees were both aching like a son of bitch. He sat down for a second to think. The more he thought about it the more convinced he was that without a clue where to search and an idea of which set of crystals controlled which sector, the task was not only overwhelming but virtually impossible. If only Daniel or Sam were with him, they'd help him figure this out. Or Teal'c. Teal'c would head right for the 'off switch' and be done with it.

He sucked in a deep, dirty breath and willed himself to think. The off switch. He needed an off switch. How do you shut off power if you can't get to it? You... blow it up! That was all well and good and he was all for blowing things up, but not only did he not have any explosives with him, he would have no idea where to focus the blast. What else?

Short it out.

Jack struggled to feet. That was it... maybe he could overload the system.

With just over three hours left and renewed energy Jack backtracked through each shaft he'd been in with an active trap. He had passed three along the way and found each of those and set them off. Stones and rocks had no effect on the force field but he found that a piece of wood did the trick so he broke off long, brittle pieces from an old mining cart and despite the burning pain in his lower back and prickles in his bad leg, forged ahead with the new plan.

The mines were mapped out in sectors and Jack found he still had a pretty good vision of it from his first visit so many years ago. He decided his best bet would be to stay within the sector so instead of branching further out he went down a level and found two more traps. He didn't need his flashlight, the dirt corridors were dimly lit proving that more than the traps were fully functional.

Jack checked his watch. He had an hour and a half left and no way of knowing whether this had already worked or even if it would work. He was torn at taking the time to get back to Kasey in case the worst happened, or staying on course with his plan. What if he went back and had only needed to set off one more trap to crash the system. But if the worst happened and Kasey was alone, he'd never forgive himself. In the end, he decided to activate everything possible to give his plan the best chance of succeeding. He'd deal with the emotional fall out later.

Two more levels down and three traps later Jack was barely functioning, his body in complete rebellion with his mind. Putting one foot in front of the other was priority one. His balance was off, the numbness was getting worse, and his head was pounding but he didn't have time to give in to his body's protests.

If Skaara was correct, Kasey had seventeen minutes left. The last trap he'd found had been twenty minutes ago and it had still been lit. Damn the fucking Goa'uld to hell! Maybe that last one had done the trick. Then again, the lights were still on so maybe not. They could be on separate circuits, though that was probably wishful thinking.

He could make it down one more level and find one more trap and then that would be it. Times up. Whatever was going to happen would happen. He closed his eyes at the thought.

Checking his watch, Jack dragged himself down one more dingy shaft and looked for the tell tale signs. He spotted it with eight minutes to spare. Breathing heavily, Jack opened his pack and removed what he realized was the last piece of wood he had salvaged. No matter, he didn't have the time or the energy to track down another trap. This would be the last one.

"What the...?" The trap activated for a split second before crackling and blinking and sputtering for what seemed like an eternity. The racket sounded like he'd just hit the all time high score in a loud, obnoxious arcade game. One last flicker and the force field wigged out and shut its self off. A minute later, the lights flickered brown and shut down, leaving Jack in complete darkness. He had a brief moment of euphoria before reminding himself he had made an educated guess that the crystals powering Kasey's trap were the same ones that controlled the ones below him. If the grid was set up differently, he may not have shut down the correct power source in which case...

Kasey! He had to get to Kasey. If he had failed, the child would be terrified and in desperate need of him.

Pulling the flashlight out of his vest pocket, Jack turned it on and took two steps before his leg went completely numb. He went down hard whispering Kasey's name as blackness overtook him.

~~~~~

"Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are..."

For a second, Jack's semi-conscious, fuzzy mind pondered the notion that perhaps he was in heaven and an angel was singing to him. But wait, scratch that, someone or something furry was holding his hand. He cracked an eyelid and spotted Lulu's head strategically placed beneath his fingers. By the time he opened the other eye two huge brown eyes were beaming into his own, mere inches separating them.

"Hi, Jack."

Kasey! Kasey was in trouble... his arm. It came tumbling back with the speed of light. "Kasey?" he managed to whisper.

"No, silly, it's me Meera, see?" She stuck her face even closer, their noses touched. "Jack, are you awake?"

He couldn't remember what had happened. Kasey's arm... "Okay?"

"If you're awake I have to go get Doctor Janet." With that the little girl kissed his cheek and left the room, the lazy calamoot jumped down and was at her heels.

Fraiser was here? He had to be bad off, unless... unless the good doctor was here to tend to Kasey's arm. Oh, god, no. If only he could open his eyes and think clearly.

"Colonel? Colonel, can you hear me?" It was Fraiser, the voice and the damn pen light were dead giveaways.

"Colonel, you're fine. You need lots of rest. I've given you something to keep you comfortable and relaxed." She was patting his arm, comforting him.

"Kasey?" It was a hoarse whisper at best and at first, he wasn't sure if she'd heard him.

"Kasey's fine, sir." She patted his hand. "Don't worry about a thing. Go back to sleep. You'll feel better in a few days. Promise."

Kasey's fine? What the hell did that mean exactly? Was he fine as in two arms, two hands, ten fingers, ten toes, or fine as in resting comfortably after having his left arm seared off at the elbow? He tried to call out to her but nothing came out and she was gone. As soon as he felt better he was going to kill whoever had super glued his eyelids closed.

Despite his struggles, the drugs eventually won out and he began an uneasy doze. The next time Jack's brain stirred with a hint of awareness it registered someone at his bedside, holding his hand. The hand wasn't furry so he assumed it was human company.

"Jack?"

That was Daniel. He'd recognize that 'Jack' at any level of consciousness. He desperately wanted to answer, to open his eyes and ask his questions but Fraiser's happy drugs and his own weary body, mind and soul wouldn't cooperate. All he could do was weakly squeeze his friend's hand.

Daniel squeezed back and leaned closer to his ear. "Hey, Jack. We found you unconscious in one of the lower levels along the west wall of the mines. I don't know how long you were down there. It took us seven hours to find you. That was two days ago."

Daniel, God bless him, was giving him a sit rep.

"Kasey's fine, a little shaken up, but fine. His arm was numb for a while but it's come back full strength. I don't know how you did it, Jack, in your physical condition," his voice trailed off for a second but came back strong. "But thank you. For Kasey and Sha're, and for me. Thank you. Don't worry about anything. Just sleep, everything's fine. I'll sit with you a while longer."

The fear and tension ebbed from his worn body and Jack allowed himself the luxury of being swept away, fully immersing himself in the deep, dark, warm oblivion.

Daniel always knew what he needed.

~~~~~

"I came to beg your forgiveness, O'Neill." Skaara stood before him, his head bowed and his voice thick with emotion.

Still recovering, Jack had been sitting out back, alone, carving and enjoying the morning sun. Since he'd never been one to hold a grudge, Jack was surprised to find that granting absolution and letting bygones be bygones was far more difficult than he had imagined. It was tempting to say no, or better yet, to tell his young friend to go to hell.

"Can you forgive me, O'Neill?"

Persistent bastard. Jack remembered once telling Carter he had never been young, but of course, that wasn't true. He had been young, young and brash and bold. Not unlike the young man before him. Young men make foolish decisions and hasty judgments. How many second chances had he himself been given?

"You were w-wrong, Skaara. My life isn't over. It's d-different."

Skaara stayed silent, his head bowed with shame and regret.

"You were wrong about s-something else too," Jack continued. "K-Kasey would have survived with one arm. I'm glad he d-doesn't have to but he w-would have. He comes from very determined s-stock."

Skaara was shaking as he held out his hand and opened his fist to reveal the lighter Jack had given him as a sign of friendship a lifetime ago. Jack stepped closer to the boy and looked at the cheap lighter and all it had come to represent. He wrapped his own hand around Skaara's and closed the young man's fingers around the symbolic treasure.

"A warrior's strength comes from his heart," Jack said quietly. "You keep it." He squeezed Skaara's fist with his own. How could he expect the young man to understand something that had taken him a lifetime to learn? He pulled Skaara in for a hug and squeezed him hard. "Of course, I forgive you. We're brothers. Always."

Skaara's body went limp with relief as the two old friends made peace with the past.

After a few final pats to Skaara's back, Jack pulled back and tried to cover his emotions. He found the new Jack O'Neill was far more openly sentimental than the old one had been.

~~~~~

"Sir, it's great to see you back here," Sam said as she entered the briefing room. "Daniel, I didn't know you were coming." She gave him a hard hug and a bright smile. "How are Sha're and the children?"

"Everyone's fine, Sam," Daniel said and smiled back. He resumed his seat beside Jack who was staring at his folded hands.

"Colonel O'Neill." Hammond nodded. "It's good to see you looking so well."

Daniel lowered his head and glanced at Jack.

"Thank you, sir," Jack said. "It's good to be back." He took a deep breath.

Hammond opened a file folder and for a moment Daniel wished he had some sort of magical power to be able to read the papers from across the table. "We've reviewed your medical and service files. The powers that be have determined that you should be permitted to return to active duty."

Jack had shown little emotion on this trip through the Gate and to Daniel's relief, General Hammond's news broke through the barrier. Jack smiled--one of the first genuine smiles Daniel had seen in weeks.

"Thank you, General. I look forward to resuming my place here."

The expression on Hammond's face made Daniel's stomach turn a slow somersault. Pity, compassion, sorrow--all were possibilities but none were what Jack needed. Daniel curled one hand into a fist and brought his other hand to Jack's shoulder.

"You'll be in charge of training of new staff here at the SGC."

"A desk job," Jack said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Jack, you've made a remarkable recovery," Janet said, "but you're still experiencing some long-term effects ofâ¦"

Jack held up his hand, stopping her. "I know." Jack looked at Hammond. "Sir, I'd like some time to think about this. If you don't mindâ¦" Jack gestured toward the door.

"Certainly, Colonel."

Jack left the room, the limp Daniel couldn't remember seeing for over two months making its appearance. He waited until Jack was gone, until the door had closed behind him and then turned on the people seated around the table.

"After all Jack's done for his country, for Earth, this is the thank you he gets?" Daniel asked. Anger at the situation, at the unfairness of all of it burned inside him. "A desk job? He's stuck here on Earth while everyone else gets to go through the Gate?"

"Doctor Jackson, every person who steps through that Gate needs to be in perfect health. Colonel O'Neill would be a liability. And that's a risk I'm not willing to take," Hammond said.

"So don't put him on a front line team. Put him in charge of a diplomatic team, in charge of negotiations."

"I'm sorry," Janet said. "But surely you realize that the colonel is not the man he used to be."

"What I realize is the people around this table were ready to give up on Jack. What I realize is Jack worked hard to come back--to learn to talk again, to become strong, and now he's being told it's still not good enough," Daniel said. "Jack doesn't belong behind a desk."

"The Pentagon would have to disagree with you on that," General Hammond said.

Daniel shrugged. "I'm used to not having the most popular opinion."

"I'm truly sorry, Doctor Jackson."

"I am, too, sir," Daniel said. He stood. "I think I'd better go find Jack."

"Understood," Hammond said and then nodded to the people gathered around the table. "Dismissed."

~~~~~~

Daniel took the elevator to the surface. He had a feeling Jack would head outside, away from prying eyes. A guard gave him a cursory nod and a glance towards the trees. Daniel nodded his understanding and hiked up the short path.

Jack turned to face him. Daniel should have known he wouldn't be able to sneak up on Jack.

"Hey," Daniel said as he took a few steps closer. His breath came out in a puff of white steam.

"I w-wanted to be alone," Jack said and turned away.

"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "But I thought maybe you needed a friend." He didn't like that Jack's slight stammer had returned. Over the months, he'd learned that the stammer, like the limp or hand tremor, only returned when Jack was overly tired and stressed.

Jack breathed out a little huff of air and he turned to face Daniel with his familiar lopsided smile. "Tell me what should I do." He turned his hands out in question.

"It's not up to me to decide," Daniel said. "But I think you should do what seems right for you. You'll always have a home with us on Abydos no matter what you decide. You don't have to decide now. There's time." Daniel took a few steps backwards, giving Jack more space. "I'll just go back in--"

He stopped when Jack put a hand on his forearm.

"No," Jack said. "I guess I knew." He ran a hand over his hair. "I knew I couldn't come b-back. Not the way I wan-ted. I knew it-t-t before we came through the gate. I wanted to b-believe I c-could even though up here," Jack pointed to his head, "I knew I couldn't."

Daniel thought the still air might just hold the sound of a heart breaking if he listened hard enough.

"I want to go home," Jack said. He took a deep breath and looked Daniel in the eyes. "Home to Abydos."

"Then we will." Daniel reached out and squeezed Jack's shoulder. "You can always come back if you want. If you decide the job here is right for you."

Jack shook his head. "I know where I belong. And it's not here. Not any longer." He took a few firm steps back towards the mountain. "You coming?"

Daniel nodded and followed Jack back into the Mountain.

~~~~~~

"Jack, Jack!" Meera came running from the house as Daniel and Jack made their way across the sand. "You came back to us!" She hurled herself at Jack's legs and Daniel automatically put out a steadying hand towards his friend, only to notice it wasn't needed.

Sha're stood at the doorway, waiting for Daniel and Jack and the now-skipping Meera, with Joban taking a few steps away from the safety of his mother's robes.

"Dan'yel. Jack," Sha're said with a warm smile and a quick glance towards Daniel. He shook his head when Jack turned his attention to the baby who held up his chubby arms and clapped.

Jack obliged by picking up the child.

"Wait until you hear what Lulu did," Meera said and tugged on Jack's robe. "Mama was very angry. Oh, and I drew you lots of pictures while you were gone. Come see, Jack. You can even bring Joban." The last was said in a magnanimous tone as she beckoned for Jack to follow her.

Jack shrugged his shoulders and smiled at Sha're and Daniel before following their daughter.

"Where's Kasey?" Daniel asked, surprised he hadn't shown up as soon as he heard Meera's yells of excitement.

"He was very upset that Jack would leave. I tried to explain but..." Sha're sighed. "I sent him to the house of my father to deliver some bread. He will be home soon, my husband."

Daniel put his arm around her and pulled her close before bending his head to kiss her. She looked up at him when he drew back.

"What has happened? Did things not go well?"

"They wanted to give Jack a desk job. After all he's done...after all he's sacrificed for them, they wanted to put him in charge of training new staff."

"They would not have allowed him to go through the Gate on missions?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. I know people need to be one hundred percent, and that realistically Jack couldn't go back on a front line team, but I thought maybe they'd offer him a chance to be on a diplomatic team or be an ambassador to one of Earth's off-world allies. He worked so hard to gain his life back."

Sha're tightened her arms around him. "How did Jack respond?"

"I'm not sure," Daniel said as he guided her into the house. "He told General Hammond that he needed to come home to Abydos and that he appreciated the offer, but I think...I think that he's hurt more than he's let anyone see. Jack's been a soldier for so long. I think he's scared of what his future holds."

"Then we shall have to help him through this difficult time," Sha're said with serene confidence and Daniel was reminded once more of how much he loved his wife.

~~~~~~~

Jack sat in his chair and stared into the dark courtyard. He could hear the quiet murmurs of Daniel's family as the children settled into bed. Daniel and Sha're had been respectful of his need for privacy over the past few days. Kasey and Meera had seemed to sense that Jack needed the time alone and didn't beg for stories or for him to play with them and even Joban was content to sit quietly on Jack's lap while his mother did her daily chores.

Get a grip O'Neill, he told himself. Despite his confident words to Daniel back on Earth, he felt adrift again. He couldn't live in Daniel's house forever. Daniel and Sha're needed their privacy as did the children. He'd taken advantage of their hospitality long enough. But what job was there for a crippled medically retired Air Force Colonel on a planet light years away from Earth? Sula would be glad to have his apprentice back, and truth be told, Jack did find the work rewarding in a strange sort of way. The trip back to the SGC had just made everything so...final.

There was a knock at his door and Jack called a come in without moving his gaze from the darkness outside.

"Hey," Daniel said, moving to sit on the stool beside Jack.

"Hey," Jack said back. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. Daniel was silent--a quiet steady presence.

Jack finally straightened and looked at his friend. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Daniel scrunched his face up in a way vaguely reminiscent of Kasey puzzling out the next move in a simple chess game with Jack.

"I've been sulking," Jack offered as an explanation. "Not a very good guest."

Daniel shook his head. "Not a guest, Jack. Family." He held out a mug--one of the first ones Jack had made without Sula's help. "Coffee."

Jack accepted it gratefully and took a sip, thinking of how to broach his next proposal to Daniel. "This is really good." He held up the mug. "What do you do? Smuggle it from the SGC?"

"Don't you know that's the only reason I insist we keep contact with Earth?" Daniel laughed. "To insure a steady supply of coffee?"

The gentle joking loosened the tension Jack was feeling and he relaxed slightly.

They finished their coffee in silence, and Jack remembered sitting by a campfire on quiet missions, sharing coffee with Daniel and listening to Daniel talk about his discoveries. For the first time in a long while, the memory didn't bring pain.

"Sula asked me to become his full-time apprentice," Jack said. At Daniel's nod, he continued. "Before we went back to the SGC. I told him I needed to think about it."

"Sula and Nefrit's sons died in the mines," Daniel said softly. "He's never asked anyone to apprentice for him before. It's a great honor."

Jack nodded. "I know. That's why I'm going to tell him yes tomorrow." He hesitated. "He'd like me to live with Nefrit and him."

"You don't need my permission." Daniel gave a gentle smile. "I'm glad for you, Jack."

"Thank you," Jack said. The two words sounded so paltry for everything Daniel and his family had done, but Daniel smiled at him and Jack knew he understood.

  
~~~~~~

"Jack."

Daniel's voice was soft in the pottery shop.

Jack looked up from his task of filling a straw-filled basket with pots. He smiled. "I, I thought Sula would like his last pots to go on this season's caravan." He straightened and took a few steps away towards the doorway and Daniel.

"I think it would please Sula and Nefrit greatly," Daniel said. He stepped back to allow Jack through the doorway.

Jack rubbed a hand through his hair. He'd allowed it to grow over the past year and it was longer than he could ever remember wearing it. He pulled a piece of string from his robe and tied the hair brushing his neck into a small ponytail.

"How are you doing?" Daniel asked. He followed Jack back towards the small outdoor kiln.

"I miss them both," Jack said and meant it. Sula and Nefrit had died within days of each other two months ago. For Jack it had been like losing his parents all over again. Sula had been a patient teacher--understanding on the days when over-tiredness caused Jack's hands to tremble as if he were an old man, praising what he said was Jack's natural born ability to be a master potter. He paused to pick up pieces of a broken pot. "I'm thinking of closing this shop."

"Closing the shop? What about your..."

"Hold your horses, or maybe I should say your mastadge?" Jack grinned. "I'm not giving up the business--only moving to another location."

"Ah, moving up in the world?" Daniel smiled back.

Jack shook his head. "Only onto the fringe. When Sula and Nefrit were here, it wasn't quite as bad, but now..." Jack stopped, having trouble finding words as sometimes happened. Daniel waited, patient as ever, with the subtle lingering effects of Jack's injury. "Sometimes," Jack continued, "I can't think in Nagada. Too much noise." He waved his hand helplessly. "My concentration gets shot to hell."

Daniel nodded in apparent understanding. "And when Sula and Nefrit were here it kept you focused."

Jack nodded. "Exactly. Um..." he pointed to the sand. "Grounded."

"So you're gonna do what? Move to the old mines?" Daniel asked, his tone light but filled with affection.

"I was thinking," Jack began and then held up an index finger. "Hey, and no comments about smoke coming out of my ears."

Daniel grinned and made a zipping motion over his lips.

"I could build a place near yours." Jack looked at Daniel to gauge his reaction. His friend gave a slow nod.

"The kids would love that. And Sha're misses feeding you. She says you are the only one who truly appreciates her cooking skills," Daniel said. He looked down to the sand, scuffing it with one boot and for a moment Jack was transported back in time to an early mission with SG1. "I'd like it too."

"O'Neill!" A call from the street had both of them looking up in surprise.

"Besim?" Jack asked as the caravan driver came towards them, his face alight with a huge smile. "I've finished packing the last basket. I thought Ibrihim was coming to collect them later this evening?"

"Yes, yes," Besim said. "But I need you to come with me. You and Danyel. Please? The council wishes to speak with you."

Jack nodded and looked down at his dirty clothes. "I should..."

"We'll be right there," Daniel said and smiled at Besim. "C'mon, Jack. They are working men, a little dirt isn't going to bother them one bit. It's the sign of honest labor."

Jack followed Daniel and Besim through the winding streets of Nagada towards the very heart of the village and the place where the five men of the council held court for the various disputes of the town.

The men were sitting much as they always did on the third day of the week--gathered under the shade of twin date palms with a small low table in front of them. Kasuf smiled up at their arrival.

"Ah good, you are here," he said. He looked sideways at the other three men. The youngest of their group had been killed in an accident six months ago and much of the talk of Nagada had revolved around who would be chosen to take Ramses' place on the council. It was already known that Daniel would replace Kasuf when the old man left with Besim's next caravan. Skaara had traveled with Besim last year and found himself a wife in the village at the end of Besim's route. Kasuf would live with them and also meet his new grandchild while Skaara began the business of trading with villages even further than Besim's caravan went.

"O'Neill," Kasuf said, pulling Jack from his wandering thoughts. "The council has come to a decision."

"A decision?" Jack looked at each of the men and then to Daniel, who shrugged in apparent confusion.

"We have spent many hours here discussing the business of Nagada and who will serve alongside my good son when I travel to Skaara's new home. Ramses was a wise man, an honorable man, and the man who replaces him will be just as wise, just as honorable. The council of Nagada wishes you to replace Ramses, O'Neill. We know that you will serve the people of Nagada with honor and respect. You have shown us that you are fair in your dealings with people, that you listen to those who have opinions differing from your own. The people of Nagada can never repay you for showing us the true nature of the false gods, but we hope that meager offer pleases you."

Jack stood silent, shocked beyond words at the honor that had just been bestowed upon him. "I am greatly honored by your faith in me," Jack finally said, his voice firm and strong. "I will not fail the people of Nagada."

Kasuf stood and pressed Jack's two hands between his own. "We know. That is why we chose you. You are truly a citizen of Abydos, of Nagada. This is your true home."

Jack bowed his head, throat tight, eyes burning. And he realized how true Kasuf's words were. This wasn't where he expected to be, but it was where he belonged and it was good.

~~~~~~

"I don't want Jack to go." Meera cried and grabbed Jack's legs. "I want him to stay here and play with me."

"Meera," Sha're said sharply.

Joban picked up his sister's cry and Daniel shrugged his shoulders as Kasey began to cry too.

Jack's move to Nefrit and Sula's shop almost a year and a half ago hadn't caused so many tears, but now that Jack was moving out of the house and into his own place permanently, the children were putting up a fuss.

"Jack needs his own place," Daniel said and looked helplessly at Jack when Meera and Kasey frowned at *that* explanation.

"Oh for crying out loud, I'm just moving a sand dune away," Jack said in a grumbling tone, but his eyes twinkled.

"You can see Jack's house from ours," Daniel added. His children stood with arms crossed over their chests and glanced between him and Jack. "It's not far."

"Can we visit whenever we want?" Meera asked, ever the negotiator.

Daniel shook his head at Jack, but Jack nodded.

"Whenever I'm home."

"Jack," Sha're said with a warning tone Daniel recognized. Surely Jack had come to know that tone too.

"If your daddy and mama allow it," Jack said.

"You promise?" Kasey asked through a few remaining sniffles.

"I promise," Jack said. He bent down to kiss Kasey's forehead and then Meera's.

"Wait, Jack. Kasey and me have a present for you. Daddy said when people move to a different house they get a hot house present."

"Hot house?" Jack mouthed to Daniel.

"Housewarming," Daniel gently corrected his daughter.

She shrugged her shoulders and ran off in the direction of Jack's old room, Kasey running after her.

Joban held his arms out to Jack and Daniel smiled as his friend took the toddler from Sha're.

"We shall miss you in our house," Sha're said. "You are always welcome at our table."

"Come on," Meera's voice sounded. "Lulu. Come on."

"Lulu?" Jack raised his eyebrows.

Meera and Kasey came back to the grownups, Lulu in tow with one of Sha're's best hair ribbons tied around her neck.

"Here," Kasey said and picked up the calamoot. "Lulu wants to live with you, Jack." He thrust the animal towards Jack.

Daniel hid a smile as Sha're rescued a chattering Joban from a speechless Jack's arms right before the furry calamoot was put in his arms.

"Oh."

"Lulu loves you best, Jack." Meera hastened to explain. "She loves you even better than me and Kasey."

"But won't she miss you?" Jack asked. He started to hand the calamoot back to Kasey. Daniel wished for a camera to capture Jack's helpless expression.

Meera had only spoken the truth. Lulu did love Jack best, and Jack, even though he wouldn't admit it, loved the beast. The grumbling about her curling up in his bed and following him around was all show, Daniel knew.

Meera shook her head. The children's tears had dried up, forgotten in the excitement of giving Jack his gift. "No. Lulu wants to be with you. And she will stay out of the way when you make all your pots."

"No way is Lulu coming into my shop." Jack said. "She can stay in the house while I work."

"Uh huh," Kasey said in a very small voice and Jack looked at Daniel in surprise.

Daniel grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

"Kasey, Meera," Sha're said. "I think you should each take one of Jack's baskets to his house for him. That would be a nice housewarming present too."

Kasey and Meera both nodded and each took one of the small remaining baskets and ran out the door towards Jack's new house.

"So," Jack said as Daniel and he began the short walk, "Lulu's mine. Stop that, you crazy animal," he complained as Lulu draped herself across his shoulders.

"Looks like," Daniel said. He kept thinking he was going to burst out laughing.

"I don't want a calamoot."

"Calamoots usually form a strong bond with one human. She never attached herself that strongly to any of us, not even Meera."

"Uh, Daniel?"

"Yes?"

"How long do calamoots live?"

The laughter Daniel had been holding at bay finally bubbled forth. "Thirty to forty years."

"Thirty to forty..." Jack stopped walking. "How old is Lulu?"

"Probably about four years old."

"Guess I have to be around for a long time then," Jack said with a smile.

"I guess you do," Daniel answered as Jack's house came into view.

"You planning on sticking around too?"

"As long as I can, Jack. As long as I can."

"Sweet."

And at that moment, Daniel thought Abydos had never felt more like home.

  



End file.
